John Sims

30. Future Millionaire & Present Optimist
(Instagram:JJSims)

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

@h3h3productions is this COVID related? Ouch

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

Fuck I'm old. #MyTwitterAnniversary

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

Show me the difference between Tesco's 32p Garlic Bread and 90p Garlic bread. I dare you

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

@Casey I kinda want the Galaxy z Flip just so I can not have a screen staring at me all the time and the added satisfaction of hanging up by smacking it closed

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

Are NHS staff exempt from paying into the new Social Care reform?

Otherwise NHS staff will be paying themselves for most of their payrise

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

I want Dale's shorts 🔥 #loveIsland

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Kylie Minogue says when she walks round a supermarket now she feels like anyone wearing a mask is nice and anyone not wearing one is a stupid cunt

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Katie Melua says Covid restrictions have made her completely lose count of how many bicycles are in Beijing

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

Anyone else still get Outlook reminders for people's birthdays that you used to speak to on MSN? Just me?

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

There might be a slight correlation between my weight gain and the time I downloaded the 'Just Eat' app

[Tyrone Mings @TyroneMings]

You don’t get to stoke the fire at the beginning of the tournament by labelling our anti-racism message as ‘Gesture Politics’ & then pretend to be disgusted when the very thing we’re campaigning against, happens.

[hayrr x @hayrr]

rashford was tired from carrying the government during covid

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

@RileyBearr Liz is a liar

[Mary去嘉兴惠州台州绍兴洛阳潍坊义乌昆山江阴常熟张家港太仓余姚慈溪周边旅游 @dd66hydjff]

This is the most amazing dad shit I’ve ever seen. Dude let the baby go, caught the ball, recovered the baby mid air, only spilled a drop of beer and the baby didn’t drop the bottle.
Legendary!

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

I don't get how people get a whole Birthday weekend or week.
Is there a form to fill out?

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

No one is leaving for lunch until we find the missing lid.

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

@gemsays Most are. Might move to NZ

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

Crypto scammers have huge marketing wallets. $300k+ for Kim K to post an ad. This is going to bite her in her big fake butt

[Ashtoshii @ashtoshii]

Presented without comment

[John Sims @JohnJSims]

Work calls