John Simon

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

@axnina @benjovland @MPRnews @GovTimWalz @benhovland Something about that photo just makes me real proud to me a Minnesotan. Just everyone looking happy all at once!

[Rep. Jack Kimble @RepJackKimble]

The Lord protects us! Yesterday, Melania Trump came within 2 inches of getting kissed on the mouth by Donald, but at the last second God moved her head. Miracles happen when you have faith!

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Just like we drew it up.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

@drscottjensen had kindergarten orientation last night. Looked everywhere for litter boxes and couldn’t find them.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Today, I signed the Respect for Marriage Act into law.

We are reaffirming a fundamental truth: Love is love, and Americans should have the right to marry the person they love.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

Mitch McConnells grave is going to smell like an outhouse.

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

I can’t stop watching this video of McConnell getting snubbed. 🍿

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

I’ve seen plenty of morbidly obese golfers in my day. I’d bet a year’s salary none of them can even break 100.

[Golf Digest @GolfDigest]

U.S. Presidents 🤝 Golf

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

@aJenwithaPen Yep. We were just discussing where to buy our vacation home over our second spaghetti dinner of the week.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

Feels good to know my wife and I are wealthy elites.

[Rep. Jim Jordan @Jim_Jordan]

Student loan “forgiveness” will benefit wealthy elites.

Once again, Joe Biden forgets about Real America.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

@GCGolfToday Just hit my tee shot on #7 and my mom called to let me know my dad had passed away suddenly. So all those stories of 3 putting to lose the Tuesday night league playoff can probably stop now.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

Don’t worry about inflation or gas prices. He’s a $45 t-shirt. The homoeroticism of pasting Trump on these buff male bodies is truly gross and bizarre.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

Good news transphobes, you can watch jeopardy again.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

@chrisdocnee thank you for all the joy you brought to my favorite future doctor! #thedocisin

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

All counties matter.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

Did they forget about the pedophile? Or are they dealing with that later? https://t.co/1dw4aehjci

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

#ThankTRUMP for all the spare time I have now from not visiting my shitty trump loving family members.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

@RonJohnsonWI is just one of the many reasons I return to Wisconsin as little as possible.

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

Probably the most frustrating part of having a parent die too early is watching human garbage live 8 years longer. https://t.co/BFvwubPFP9

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

@J8sunZ I KNOW!!!!!!

[John Simon @JohnMSimon]

I hate two people, for opposite reasons of course. Donald Trump and Tom Brady. Both losing would be a great start to 2021. #GoPackGo