The clock is ticking, the teams are converging and now it won’t take long
For this clue keep in mind the title of a Red Hot Chili Peppers song
Be smart and safe and stay away from the railroad tracks
If you’re at the corner of 12th and Santa Fe, you’re close and that’s a fact
Have you made it down into the West Bottoms? If not, where the hell you at? Because to find the elusive Easter Keg you need to be where I once yelled “FAT!”
But if you’re down there listen closely to the words I have to say
If you’re driving WEST down the 12th Street bridge you’ll soon need to turn the other way
Do you want clues? DO YOU WANT CLUES??!
Well boys and girls, I got ‘em!
You’ll want to head WEST down 12th Street down into the West Bottoms
Don’t worry that there may be others between ya
You’ll find the keg hiding just NORTHEAST of the former Kemper Arena
NORTH of The Golden Ox, EAST of Restaurant Depot the madness will begin
And no, we didn’t hide the Keg at the Edge of Hell again
But if you’re there, you’re getting closer and here’s another clue
The Easter Keg waits EAST of Hickory and SOUTH of Union Avenue
Do you think you know where you’re headed now? Don’t let this next clue fool ya
If you are SOUTH of the Downtown Airport you can soon say a hop-filled hallelujah
Head NORTH from Liberty Memorial and the WW1 Museum, which I can tell you both are quite dandy
Back in the 80s you could go there at night to score some blow and get yourself a handy
And here’s a couple more clues that you can have that should give a little thrill
The Easter Keg waits for you WEST of T Mobile Center and EAST from the 403 Club and Strawberry Hill
If you’re headed NORTHEAST from Turner or Argentine you’re headed in the right direction
But hurry or you will soon miss out on this Easter Keg perfection
So get to hoppin’, don’t be stoppin’ and there’s one more thing that we know
The Easter keg awaits SOUTHEAST of the Argosy and SOUTHWEST of the new Bally’s Casino
The teams are inching ever closer to where our frothy friend is hidin’
So listen closely to the next clue of which I am providin’
Head SOUTHWEST from Gladstone and this much more I’ll report
It’s NORTHWEST from the Grandview Triangle and SOUTH of the new airport
Budweiser gave us a whole bunch of swag, including a Morning Show cooler But to win it you’ll need to head NORTHEAST from where I gave up being a high schooler
And here’s another tip to help you on your way so that you don’t have to beg Drive WEST from Blue Springs, the town that gave birth to our ol’ chunky Gregg
The clues are bringing you ever closer, and your heads must all be spinnin’
Head EAST from the Kansas Speedway if it’s those tickets you wanna be winnin’
A $500 gift card from Harry’s Wine Beer and Liquor is more than some can afford
But should you find the Easter Keg, you can spend Sunday tying one on with The Lord!