Johnny Midnight

Despite widespread popular belief, I may not be the best Twitter contributor in the world.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

The Anything Goes Humour ebook is now available. Nearly 1,000 original jokes.
http://t.co/2xrjT6ZWup

USA http://t.co/Hb48YlNR0V

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@tweetcunha Sad.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@Alexandr4Denman

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@Liberfach0 Stupid scrote.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@OTPipers @MatteoMoretto Why have we not signed him, then?

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@AmericaRecharge 😂😂😂 Fuck off.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@AntiLeftMemes Yes.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@UKLabour Why do every member of the Labour Party look the same?

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@GBX_Press No wonder they don't let women do or say anything. Fuck me. Imagine coming home after a hard day fucking the other wives to that.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@realMaalouf That's one dry fuck and one dry blow job.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@FootballTalkHQ @diarioas 😂😂😂 He must've heard Utd don't want him.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@SimplyUtd @diarioas 😂😂😂

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@UtdXclusive @diarioas Why would you posting this shit?

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@LeonardBriscoe3 Are you mental?

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@QuadriOPE18 He's shit.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@unlimited_ls Perfect

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@GBUnitedx Stop fucking about. Bruno earns more, Rashford earns more, even Case earned more. Sign him, now!

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@Telegraph Quelle surprise. Brown nose by culture, brown nose by nature.

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@triffic_stuff_ Scummy brown noser.

[Chino @ChinoUTD]

🚨 Lionel Messi on the Premier League club he would've loved to play for:

🗣️ Lionel Messi:

“If I had ever left Barcelona for the Premier League, the club that always fascinated me most was Manchester United.

Not just because of the trophies, but because of the history, the culture and what the club represented. In many ways, it felt like Barcelona's equivalent in England. A club where winning wasn't enough. You also had to carry an identity.

I remember the battles we had against them. We knew how difficult they were to face. Back then, we'd sit around talking about players from that United team. Scholes was one we admired enormously. Some of us genuinely wondered what it would've been like to play with him. Then there was Pique, who came through there before returning to Barcelona. There was always a connection between the two clubs.

People assume I would've chosen City because of Pep, and of course I had great respect for him. But if you're asking me purely as a footballer, Manchester United was the club that made me curious. It felt familiar. It felt like a place where football mattered just as much as results.

That's why, if United had ever made a serious push at the right moment, who knows? Maybe football would've given me a different story.”

[Johnny Midnight @JohnnyMidnight3]

@MediaSOI From this photo, it's clear to see why he doesn't shout about her.