𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥

Who am I but Barabbas? he/him/his

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

Absolute units throughout history @TheMERL

[Tasch 🇵🇸 @TaschDraws]

Artist, devs, actors. Whoever needs to hear this.

Tech bros are good at selling ideas, not execution. See: N/F/Ts. They make shit look shiny, but it never survives contact with reality in practice.

You are irreplaceable.
And NO one can make your funny little guys like YOU can.

[Freya Holmér @FreyaHolmer]

a thread on this before I mute the new AI thing,

I'm going to miss the time when things were created by people who care

AI could've done so much good, but OpenAI is choosing to exploit the collective human creativity, and erode trust in communication, for the sake of technology

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

@stew_frick How did I get so many tickets to paradise?!?
They just keep coming, they won’t stop tonight!
Now I have to charter a flight!
I’m broke now but I’ve got tickets to paradise!

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

Bad karaoke idea: sing Two Tickets to Paradise but you keep getting more tickets as the song goes on

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

@stew_frick Pack your bags, we (me, you, and your 36 plus ones) leave tonight

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

Whoever invented the box was really onto something

[Jon Bois @jon_bois]

i’m the guy who spends all night smugly pointing out that the nfl is holding the super bowl in las vegas to capitalize on sports betting. you’re going to hear me say “it allllll comes back to the almighty dollar, my friend” at least 10 or 11 times

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

You couldn’t make D&D today. No way people would believe the average villain could own a dungeon AND a dragon in this economy

[clare @sadderlizards]

hey boss can i head out early i want to go play outside

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

Check engine light? Yeah the light’s working

[Christian Keil @pronounced_kyle]

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"So what does the meat have in mind."

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat?"

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we can marked this sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotation ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."

--

Terry Bisson, 1991

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

Well, at least I’ve got a cask of amonti-

Oh no, oh no no no

[huffy @sulkingtime]

what my man sees before bedtime

[Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L]

(behind the wheel of a large automobile) wtf how did I get here (noticing my beautiful wife) ok nice. pros and cons to this

[𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙥 @JohnOfRock]

@ActualNames1 @greenleejw

[Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence]

ron desantis spent like $200M and all he accomplished was broadcasting to the whole world that he wears high heels inside his boots and eats pudding with his fingers

[Omar Shahabudin McDoom @omarmcdoom]

As a genocide scholar, I have tried to understand the arguments I have read for why Israel’s conduct in Gaza does not constitute genocide. I struggle. The counter-arguments are not difficult. Here are 8 arguments I've heard and what I think in response. 1/n