Gavin Johnson

[Gavin Johnson @JohnsonMG]

@Twyst Added!

[Chris Pramas @Pramas]

I feel you, vending machine, I feel you.

[Sean Plott @day9tv]

My wish for 2016 is that people will put less effort trying to "prove they're right" and more effort trying to understand other perspectives

[Gavin Johnson @JohnsonMG]

@CBCR2Morning This may have already been played, but it is a fantastic choice for Under the Covers: https://t.co/2lN9DmMhjX

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Happy #CanadaDay to the world's Ned Flanders who shares a 3,000-mile border with Homer Simpson.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Kanye vs. Trump is exactly what America deserves.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

To those of you taking the SATs tomorrow: BCCDECDABBCDEABCDEEBBCEBADEBCDEACBDEACBEDACBCAD.
I damn well better see you in church on Sunday.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I have a @kanyewest complex.

[OllyB @OllyMonkeyboy]

BREAKING NEWS:

CHINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Advisors vow to bobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobbo

[Sean Bouchard @ndef]

Lord of Light, make me productive, for the day is short and full of meetings.

[patiomensch.bsky.social @patiomensch]

It cost $700 million to reach Pluto. Which seems huge until you realize the new Vikings stadium is costing us $1 billion. #wrongpriorities

[Leigh Graner 🎨 Game Dev, Creative Coach, Comedian @mxleighgraner]

Ran into your ex earlier, they seemed really happy.

[Leigh Graner 🎨 Game Dev, Creative Coach, Comedian @mxleighgraner]

Steps for making friends
1. Identify potential friend
2. Say hi!
3. Break down in front of them
4. You have made an acquaintance!
5. blocked

[Leigh Graner 🎨 Game Dev, Creative Coach, Comedian @mxleighgraner]

yes I'll take one emotional intimacy please and thank you I'll put it in this bag of human closeness

[WHY MY CAT IS SAD @MYSADCAT]

My cat is sad because he can see into your past, is aware of your mistakes, and thinks you are too hard on yourself.

[[email protected] @aloria]

Pretty sure the bible says "love thy neighbor," not "love thy neighbor lol no homo"

[Alice R Fraser @aliterative]

Marriage used to be so simple. You'd meet a man, buy his daughter; make awkward conversation til she died in childbirth. What went wrong?