JOLF

3rd rate Falco with a 1st rate controller

[Toph @toph_bbq]

PUFF TIMES make FOX MEN
FOX MEN make MARTH TIMES
MARTH TIMES make SHEIK MEN
SHEIK MEN make PUFF TIMES

[Pawp @FREETHETWOLVES]

niggas playing gang beasts

[Mostly Peaceful Memes @MostlyPeaceful]

U.S. BECOMES FIRST NATION TO HOST A FIFA WORLD CUP TEAM AND AIR STRIKE THAT TEAM’S COUNTRY ON THE SAME DAY

[💟Ole IS Right, Esq. @Ole_is_right]

“We make two deeply homophobic regimes play on Pride night, in one of the gayest cities in America.”

[Sayff @thesayff]

If you can’t afford the $200 fee for EVO just go to the roulette table and bet $200 on red. If you win it’s free entry and if you lose your dumbass was not guessing right on throw loops anyway so it saved you the weekend.

[Ahmed/The Ears/IG: BigBizTheGod 🇸🇴 @big_business_]

Opening the app at 11:55pm and realizing you need 3,587 steps before midnight to save the family home

[jorge @jorgieboii12]

Oh you’re Mexican?

Let me guess, you’re favorite Pokemon is Gengar

[jorge @jorgieboii12]

Mexican Mount Rushmore:

Gengar
Vegeta
Obito Uchiha (kid)
The Panda from Panda Express

[Chivo Infante @chivoinmortal]

Maradona si hubieran existido las pausas de hidratación en México 86.

[Mahir 🇹🇷🇬🇧 @ScrewderiaF1]

Dad: Look at Yamal carrying his country at 18.

Me: Look at Cape Verde's goalkeeper carrying his country at 40

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

Dude after buying SpaceX at $135 and selling it at $203 (he only bought 1 share)

[Tage @Tagelca]

Hemos empatado contra un equipo que selecciona a sus jugadores por LinkedIn. Me quiero arrancar los cojones

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a warehouse store. A fully roasted chicken costs five dollars, the raw chicken beside it costs seven, and I stood between them like a man between two truths.

Golden. Hot. Seasoned. Spinning in glory under the lights, in a line of its brothers. Four dollars and ninety-nine cents.

I checked the raw birds. Seven dollars. Pale. Cold. You must do everything yourself.

This is not commerce. Commerce does not move backward. Somewhere in this building, mathematics lies defeated.

I asked the man at the counter. "How is the cooked bird cheaper than the raw bird?"

"Been five bucks forever. They keep it that way."

"But the store loses."

"Yep. On purpose."

On purpose. I held my receipt with both hands.

In my land, a lord who lowered the price of rice in a hard winter was remembered for generations. They built him a small shrine. This store does it every day, with chicken, and tells no one.

A woman behind me grew tired of my reverence. "It's just a chicken, sir."

It is not just a chicken. It is a wound the merchant takes on purpose, so that anyone, on any day, with five dollars, eats like a lord. The bird is the message. The price is the vow.

I will confess: I bought two. I did not need two. The second was not hunger. It was gratitude, and it was delicious.

Some prices are not prices. They are promises.

I return every week now. I take one bird. I bow toward the deli, briefly, so as not to alarm the staff. They have begun nodding back.

The vow holds. The bird turns. Five dollars.

Long may it spin.

[dre 🥀🐝 @andy_garza34]

Me yesterday 🇲🇽 vs me today 🇺🇸

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A stadium parking lot. I came to watch a battle, and found the army feasting three hours before it.

Hundreds of tents. Grills. Clan flags flying from trucks. Men in war paint handing food to strangers. I assumed the game had been cancelled and this was the consolation.

"When does the battle begin?" I asked a man tending an enormous grill.

"Kickoff's at one. We've been here since seven."

Seven. In my land, an army eats quietly before war, in case it is the last meal. Here, the meal IS the war. The enemy parking lot is doing the same thing forty yards away. Nobody is fighting. Everyone is grilling.

A man handed me a plate. I had not asked. I was not known to him. The plate held more meat than my ancestors saw in a winter.

"You with us or them?" he asked.

"I am with whoever fed me," I said. It is the oldest law.

"Good answer," he said, and gave me more.

Then I learned the terrible truth. The man at the grill — the general of this feast — was not going inside.

"You will not watch the battle?"

"Nah. I'll catch it on the radio. Somebody's gotta watch the grill."

He marches to the war. He feeds the army. He does not enter. In eight hundred years of my family's records, there is no rank for this man.

There should be.

I was full. I was confused. I was, somehow, home.

An army that eats together has already won. The game is a detail.

When the crowd roared inside the stadium, the grill man nodded once, and flipped a burger.

Next week I am bringing my own tent. He said I could park beside him. We are allies now.

The terms were ribs.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[The Wonton Don @DonnieDoesWorld]

Major fomo

[Trevor Allen 🩺 🥼 @TrevorAllenMD]

How do I explain to someone who doesn't play modern Yu-Gi-Oh! that after 25 years of power creep, this is the centerpiece of a deck on the verge of Tier 0?