Jona Maestre

somewhere between not happy & not sad

artist mgmt | Whitelines™

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

"All of y'all can suck my balls through my drawers."

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

I’ve decided that my favorite memes are Applebee‘s memes.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Hey Twitter. Update: Tomorrow is my 34th week of pregnancy and we’re now at the point where I tinkle my pants a few times a day from just sneezing.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

@Kelly_Heenan Wtf Hahahaha

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Think you’re a basket case now? Talk to me when you’re 24 weeks pregnant and crying over an email. 🤦‍♀️ 🤣

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

LIVING FOR J LO AND SHAKIRA OMFG!!! 😭😭😍😍

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

I'm not knocking people posting about Kobe's death, but we really don't need your selfie of just you crying.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Why do people take so long at the drive through ATM?! WTF y’all doing?!

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Lmao. My boyfriend left a review on the @PowerBar website because he was reminiscent of the old bars 🤦‍♀️

And then proceeded to bid on an expired Power Bar on eBay.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

When you told your orthodontist that you had an emergency work meeting and had to reschedule, but they follow you on IG and saw you were just working out.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

My Invisalign just made me gag. 🤢

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

@fuckinknox Haha yupp!!! this is not a drill! lmao.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

sup twitter. i’m pregnant. k, peace ✌️

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

We all broke rules for someone.

[T @tylerthecreator]

get a passport, see the world

[geneva @genevaspina]

the less i yoda better

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

LOL NAH. That’s all I gotta say.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Working in the music industry today, rewatching the Cheetah Girls was hilarious.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Whole Foods in WeHo. Get your shit together. It shouldn’t take this long to get my smoothie out when there’s 3 of you and Sherman Oaks has less staff and a smaller location and gets it out faster. K bye.

[Jona Maestre @Jonaiodos]

Dude, Tyler Posey is fucking hot. 🔥