Spatula Jones

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Sundress ✅
Brunch✅
Beating a dead horse✅

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

What does it mean when your aunt dying of brain cancer tells you you look skinny

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Crazy how you can look at my body today and know that over 100 years ago I was genetically designed to survive the potato famine but the trees get a little freaky a couple times a year and it almost puts me in my grave.

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Which could mean nothing

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Which could mean nothing

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Having to work when it’s your cats birthday should be illegal.

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

@hulu_support Hulu it’s not. I’m scared.

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Hey @hulu can there be an option to not see scary movie ads? I don’t know what about watching bobs burgers on repeat makes you think i wanna see a preview for a movie about a wolf man that murders his entire family but i can assure you i do not.

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

✨❄️It’s the most wonderful time of the year✨❄️(leave the house in a baggy sweatshirt no bra weather)

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Oh no my coworkers did something very kind and thoughtful for me and now i have to quit my job and never speak to any of them ever again.

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

POV: you were supposed to be literally just a girl this weekend but instead you’re spending 36 hours in your personal hell on earth and your outfit is ugly.

[Katie Rich @katiemaryrich]

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Time to be sad soon

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Would love to have one consistent emotional state for more than 23 minutes

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Today my therapist said if doing actual therapy is ever too much and you just want a fun gossip day let me know. I said okay but internally i am giggling and kicking my feet getting ready to prepare the wildest PowerPoint presentation she’s ever seen.

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

And let’s not forget my other girlfriend. The governor of Arkansas.

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Is evermore your favorite Taylor Swift album or are you normal?

[Spatula Jones @JonesSpatula]

Which could mean nothing