Jordan Lott

Nothing new.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Sorry for my late reply @SkyHelpIreland, only really use Twitter to moan about abysmal service. Back on hold, probs queuing w/ many others.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Dunno why but I can't help but rate those old timers who prop up the bar, counting out money from those plastic bags you get from the bank.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

This account... https://t.co/BTBzN2Roqv

[Boring Milner @BoringMilner]

I said to Vardy it wasn't very nice getting Ranieri sacked like they did. He said Don't chat shit, James. So I didn't say anything else.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Yeah I do that rock-back regularly @d_a_adams...it's just that its after the kick has connected with my lips. @danawhite

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

The irony of @SkyUK telling you to "Believe in better" when you've been on hold over an hour tryin to find out why your broadband is 1.7mbps

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

If you've posted anything that would in any way indicate the result of #McGregorDiaz2 I hope something terrible happens to you. #UFC202

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Can't wait until it's summer...

...When I move to LA or Singapore or somewhere else that isn't totally shit.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

How can there be mad traffic at 7:20pm? #KingsHeathHighStreet #ThatchersBritain

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Ask yourself this: Have you ever driven behind someone in a Vauxhall Zafira & thought 'Lovely tekkers that is'?

No, of course you haven't.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Hi, thought I should let you know that I've just had kale with my dinner. Had other things too but none of it was as cool as kale. #kale

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

When you wrongly think someone's getting brave on email so hit em with a cold-hearted response & then they're all like "OK great! Thanks 😃"

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Recently I've been making pints of Robinson's orange squash & just fucking necking 1/3 before I've taken 1 step away from the sink. Serious.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Saw sunshine. Took dogs for walk in t-shirt. Held back tears.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Can't decide which @KLM office provides the worst customer service, @KLM_UK or Singapore. Save time & £€$, fly with someone else. #Terrible

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

I don't care how healthy it's supposed to be, avocado is the shittest of all the fruits. I can never rate people who pretend they like it.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

BRB, just butterflying some chicken breasts like my name's Glynn Purnell or something.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Charging me 5p for plastic bags hasn't worked. If I could sell em back to the supermarkets I could pay for a stripper to go to law school.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Waiting to see Tony Law at the Glee Club, ready for many laughing out loud.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

In Wetherspoons feeling like a baller because the drinks I normally pay a fiver for are £2.50. S/O all the old alcoholics, I see ya.

[Jordan Lott @JordanALott]

Earwigging on a pub convo:

"My cousin went to school with Tony Blair"

"My dad pushed Freddie Mercury off a trike in Zanzibar"

#Liars