Jorge Martínez

[͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏❀̣͙̊၇ᤴ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ @destejios]

Ayer varios nenes llegaron diciéndome "dulce o truco", y yo les daba dulcecitos, pero en eso se me ocurrió decirle a una nena, "mmm, truco", y su cara fue ESTA mientras me decía "e-es que no tengo truco..."

[ちょめ@11/7AIクリエイターズマーケット ブース62、 @sometyome]

メキシコの愛する友人！ 🇲🇽🌼
素敵な夜をお過ごし下さい🌙*.｡
#DiaDeMuertos
#Mexico

[El triqui @el_triqui_]

lugares donde me emperra no haber estado 😤

[José García @misterjgarcia]

Estoy dentrísimo del maximalismo mexicano, y más en esta época del año. Es el 'más es más' multiplicado por infinito. Los colores, la música, esa Catrina gigante del Zócalo. Amigos mexicanos, enhorabuena. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💀🕯️🇲🇽

[Marie Isabella @MarieIsabellaB]

Now that’s truly terrifying😰🎃

[@LuisValLe @LuisValLe_A]

El internet es arte

[A L e 𝕏 @l0rdAlexX]

Jamás te mueras, internet 😂😂😂

[WehopEi @minki748]

تذكرت كلام فورينا اذا فكيت اخر مستوى😓

الفترة الأخيرة صايرين يسبونها الفشلة عشان أداءها باللعبة!!

[Jorge Martínez @JoregeMw]

@Nasse1117

[Papa Woof und Krampus und Bleaken @woofknight]

The only mimic that exists here in the real world

[Simpsonito @SoySimpsonito]

¡¡LES TRAIGO PAZ!!

[DDD @DorahDew]

How Fairy felt when Proxy introduced her

[Alder ᓬ(•⤙•๑)ᕒ @AlderVevo]

Teoria: Los arcontes van a perder y no pueden mostrar al arconte de china perdiendo sin que los cuelguen en la plaza roja

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Security called me at 6:12 AM today.

"Patch every PHP server immediately."

I asked what happened.

"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."

Cool.

How many PHP servers do we have?

According to inventory: 12

According to reality:

Nobody knows.

We found one running WordPress.

Three running old internal tools.

One under someone's desk.

Two inside vendor appliances.

A forgotten employee directory from 2016.

And a server named:

PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH

Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.

Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.

I asked who owned it.

The documentation said:

BRIAN.

Brian left in 2019.

We called Brian.

He said:

"Oh wow, that's still running?"

Excellent.

By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.

CEO:

"Can hackers actually get in?"

Security:

"Potentially yes."

CEO:

"Without a password?"

Security:

"Yes."

CEO:

"Then why do WE need passwords?"

Not the lesson.

Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.

Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.

Finance asked for a cost comparison.

At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.

Marketing refused.

"Our campaign is live."

So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.

We finally patched everything we could find.

Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.

Hostname:

TEMP-PHP-2014

Uptime:

4,512 days.

Nobody knows what it does.

Nobody owns it.

Nobody can shut it down.

But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.

Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.

It is running PHP 5.4.

The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.

The emergency patch took four hours.

Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.

The internet isn't held together with code.

It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.

[Mooning @yashvinder79171]

I know the price of killing a god so tell me what's the price of fondling a god

[ًyeray•♡ @yerayherr]

yo queriendo deprimirme en el bus pero la calle llena de pozos me quita aura al golpearme la cabeza