Tomilola

Author & Public Health Professional 📚 | Writing about family healing, emotional abuse & the relationships that shape us

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

You don't have to be perfect to deserve a relationship with your child.
You just have to be willing to be honest.
About what happened.
About what you could have done differently.
That honesty — offered humbly — is where repair begins. 💛

[Skill of Life @skill_of_life]

A narcissist cannot have true love, so don't date them, fall in love with them, or ever try.

Because what they offer is not love. It is management. They manage your perception of them, your emotional state, and your proximity to them based on what serves their needs at any given moment.

In the beginning it feels like intensity. Like focus. Like someone who finally sees you completely. That is not love. That is recruitment. They are building a version of you that is useful to them.

And the moment you stop being useful, the moment you have needs, boundaries, or a bad day that requires them to show up for you, the dynamic shifts. The warmth disappears. The criticism starts.

You cannot love a narcissist into reciprocating. The capacity for genuine love requires empathy they do not possess.

Do not date them. Do not try to fix them. Walk away before you lose the version of yourself that existed before they had access to you.

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

5 Things I learned about narcissists that nobody warns you about:
1. The rage is never random. It's a tool. Used exactly when they need you to back down.
2. The lies aren't just to deceive you. They're to make you question your own memory.
3. Flying monkeys are not innocent. Anyone doing their dirty work chose to. *
4. The version of you they show to others is carefully designed to make sure nobody believes you.
5. When they finally show you who they are — believe it. The person you fell in love with was the performance. This is the reality.
Surviving narcissistic abuse means unlearning everything they taught you about yourself. 💛
#NarcissisticAbuse #FlyingMonkeys #Healing #Trauma #Survivor #MentalHealth

[Parental Alienation @PAcumbria]

Narcissists never want to talk about what they did. However, they'll happily exaggerate how you reacted.

[Sonia @BalogunSonia4]

The funniest thing about toxic people is that they completely lose their minds the exact second you give them a taste of their own medicine.

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

5 Things I learned about narcissists that nobody warns you about:
1. The rage is never random. It's a tool. Used exactly when they need you to back down.
2. The lies aren't just to deceive you. They're to make you question your own memory.
3. Flying monkeys are not innocent. Anyone doing their dirty work chose to. *
4. The version of you they show to others is carefully designed to make sure nobody believes you.
5. When they finally show you who they are — believe it. The person you fell in love with was the performance. This is the reality.
Surviving narcissistic abuse means unlearning everything they taught you about yourself. 💛
#NarcissisticAbuse #FlyingMonkeys #Healing #Trauma #Survivor #MentalHealth

[Inner Practitioner @MindTendencies2]

Being unbothered and calmly responding to toxic people trying to provoke you is the absolute best feeling. You stay in control, protect your energy, show them their behavior has no power here, and you're so secure in yourself that their dysfunction doesn't get to define your day.

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

There's a difference between an adult child who is private and one who is emotionally distant.
One is personality. The other has a before.
Knowing the difference changes everything. 💛
#ParentingAdultChildren #FamilyHealing #EmotionalHealth #Relationships

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

@NarcissistBox Exactly 💯

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

@MindHealthMaker @just_chillx07 That is so true

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

There's a difference between an adult child who is private and one who is emotionally distant.
One is personality. The other has a before.
Knowing the difference changes everything. 💛
#ParentingAdultChildren #FamilyHealing #EmotionalHealth #Relationships

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

"There is a particular kind of ache that many parents carry quietly.
Not from conflict. Not from drama. Just… distance.
I wrote a book for that. 💛
https://t.co/fEowSz2tDK
#ParentingAdultChildren #FamilyHealing"

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

@MindHealthMaker 💯

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

@Ryan_Daigler Gosh, this is so true, my ex never understood why i had friends round on my birthday and made sure to cause an argumentvin front of them but always expected royal treatment on his own birthday

[Tomilola @Jothriel]

@mindfulmaven_ Ain't this the truth!