Objective Journalist Guy

They call me the TRUTH-SEEKER. I tell stories. About the human condition. Probably the most noble profession. Certainly in the way I do it

[Alissa Greenberg @alissaleewrites]

Yay, @JschoolStrytllr is back! I was beginning to think we had lost him forever. https://t.co/BNRa0Nu0m4

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

#Pitch: How Palestinian Tumblr teens are using Bell Hooks to tell Netanyahu’s how much they are #smh rn https://t.co/KDitqKz1Fx

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

#Pitch: A Japanese orphan in a hijab uses 3-D printing to solve the global energy crisis — and Ted Cruz is NOT happy https://t.co/KDitqKz1Fx

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

#Pitch: woke Canadian bae Justin Trudeau does tai-chi while reciting Beyonce’s Lemonade with 8th graders in Aleppo https://t.co/KDitqKz1Fx

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

I have some new pitches.

https://t.co/toRgPUQn16

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

“I work in security”
“I’m in law school”
“I’m a business manager”
“I work in retail"

And what do you do @JschoolStrytllr?

“I move people."

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

Wage is $0 but you can occasionally pitch own tweet ideas to me in a few years’ time, that I will pretend to consider but actually ignore

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

Intern must own a car, have their own full C300 rig, and preferably live within 5 blocks of our offices, which are in midtown Manhattan

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

SEEKING: Unpaid personal intern. Must have 4 years professional newsroom experience as a #content producer capturing the online zeitgeist

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

I walk into offices of shady corporations. I’ll look under things, tap objects, giving the receptionist the eyeball. I’m onto them

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

More accessible than academia. More emotional than the sciences. Journalism is truly a backstage pass to life.

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

After every filmed interview, I insist on 1-minute silence by all crew. To reflect, O Lord, and absorb the gifts of truth we’ve received

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

There is NO story that is not made better by a presenter doing a dramatic, live stand-up to camera at the end of it #realtalk

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

*leaves J-School*

*thinks there’s something srsly wrong with world if I don’t have a column called “My Feelings” with NYT within 6 months*

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

Many J-Schoolers don’t realize I’m always subtly recording their conversations, via a boom. They call me the boom boy. Creeping ever closer

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

#Pitch: "Big Data…The deep web….Narco-colonialism…."

Editor: Are you just saying words now

Me: Do not bog me down with your questions

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

Editor: You can do ANY story - and you pitch a profile of the "talented busker on my street"

Me: ...he has a tremendous repertoire ok

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

As a #journalist, you must be the objective mind. No bias. No ideology. Simply observe society and see the truth. Go forth, young Solomon

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

Reporting is fine. But I find when you write, from perspective of yourself, about yourself, you can do all your “reporting" at home in bed

[Objective Journalist Guy @JournalismGuy]

Put on my gravestone:

"Be the story you want to tell in the world.” - society’s fireside narrator

#RIP

(inclusion of hashtag crucial)