jaffa.jake

my thumb is probably weirder than yours

[jaffa.jake @JSzuplewski]

Er-Twitt #RadiantFilter

[jaffa.jake @JSzuplewski]

@wildtiktokss Try harder xo

[jaffa.jake @JSzuplewski]

@NoContextBrits The Beatles

[jaffa.jake @JSzuplewski]

@NoContextBrits Avatar 2: The Way of the Wank

[jaffa.jake @JSzuplewski]

@NoContextBrits Katie Hopkins

[Tommy Wiseau @TommyWiseau]

@elonmusk Oh hi Musk

[James O'Brien @mrjamesob]

My God. The replies…

[jaffa.jake @JSzuplewski]

@RTGameCrowd New Fable is looking pretty slick

[Tommy Wiseau @TommyWiseau]

Merry Chrismas and Happy New Year !
If a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live ! Love you all, tW

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What wears a coat in winter and pants in the summer?

A dog!

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

If you think Thursdays are bad, wait two more days.

It will be a sadder day.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark…

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I just found out Albert Einstein is a real person.

I was told that he was a Theoretical Physicist.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What happens if you don’t pay your exorcism bill?

You get repossessed.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Found a 55" TV on Craigslist for only $20 because the volume was stuck on full

I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What does garlic do when it gets hot?

It takes its cloves off.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Why did the Spider-Man in the alternate universe do better on his driver's test?

Because, naturally, he's a parallel Parker.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I asked my wife when her birthday was.

She said March 1st. So I walked around the room and asked again.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What do you call the man who shreds your cheese at a restaurant?

Not sure, but he seems like a grate guy.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

A whole lot of books just fell on my head.

I have only my shelf to blame.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

if you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN.

They get really upset.