#1 dad

deeply in love with @briannadperez

[Weapon 𝕏 @HellRaz0r1776]

People who eat gas station hotdogs watching all the salad eaters shit themselves

[Conspiratorial Templates @mynamehear]

The only thing I don't like about the term "trickle-down stupidity" is that I didn't think of it first

[Joe Michael @theJoeMichaell]

Test your fucking coke guys

[miia @miiagarro]

how do i explain to people that i can just slip into my nonverbal mood and it has nothing to do with them

[Samureye @Sxmureye]

“I already broke the W key on my keyboard from spamming W's to hard in the chat”

[HOUSE PHONE @HOUSEPHONEDND]

THIS NIGGA IN THE CLUB WITH A BAG FULL OF JEANS 😭😭😭

[CallUnc @Callunc]

Me stuck in a meeting that has nothing to do with me but the manager still wants me in

[techbimbo @jameygannon]

irony is you couldn't recreate this now if you tried

[John Summit @johnsummit]

finally english people can shut the fuck up about football and get back to putting beans on toast and skipping dental appointments

[J_7th @literallyj7th]

8 year old me thinking the game will load faster if i acted like i didn't care

[CallUnc @Callunc]

"This job is driving me crazy"

Also me at work:

[JayJay ᥫ᭡ @Jameca2011]

i knew i was old when they rearranged the grocery store and i got mad af

[. @playboicurrryy]

he was stable according to sources

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

As an adult, missing trash day is one of the biggest L’s you can take

[solé @layxsnv]

my AC been on for 16 day’s straight, I hope my electricity bill take klarna

[P @theogpooh]

We in a dookiedemic and I don’t see toilet paper flying off the shelves like during Covid???

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

“There's an AI tool for that.”

Okay, so???? There's probably an Ed Sheeran song for it too. I honestly don't give a fuck.