Just Some Guy

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I'm shaking, because my friend basically says they don't want to be friends anymore and isn't responding to me so that's a cool way to being my night to an end, but who gives a fuck about me I guess. Never allowed to be fucking happy if it isn't one thing it is something else.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I don't want anyone to suffer or bad things to happen to them. I just wish people would think twice before choosing to hurt me or at least feel some sort of remorse. I just want to matter to people, I want to be someone who is worth at least an apology or anything.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I hold out hope that it is all some sort of bad set of circumstances or some sort of misunderstanding, but I know it isn't. I know you don't want me around and I know you don't want to talk to me, but it just sucks because I thought we were getting close.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

It's hard, because I feel like I never 'heal' I just sort of forget for awhile until I'm reminded again and it hurts all over.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I just want people to reciprocate the excitement and energy I show them. I'm sick of them saying one thing and then turning around and doing the opposite. Don't promise to not do something (I've expressed upsets me) and then the next week start doing it. It hurts a lot

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

It's always one thing after the next I'm not sure my fragile heart can take much more of this. One domino always topples over the next I guess.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I guess this is why they say let sleeping dogs lie, because I would have been so much better if I never approached you and tried to be friends with you. I wouldn't have been able to be pushed so far down if I never reached out to you.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I just want to know what happened. What did I do to make you suddenly want to suddenly ignore me? You don't have to talk to me or be my friend, but at least tell me what I did wrong because this shit bothers me so much more.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

In the short time we talked you preached communication and now you won't even give me the time of day what gives? If I did something let me know. if you need a break from me let me know. For the love of God don't ignore me for a week especially when you said you wouldn't ghost me

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I don't have many friends nor do I go out of my way to make many, but you talk to me all day for a week and tell me you wanted to be friends and I believed you. So why are you going to practically ignore me for a week with 0 word to me and just suddenly say "i suck at responding"

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

What's the point in saying you want to be friends when a week later you won't even text me or even reply to my texts. I was better off with you rejecting my friendship because this shit sucks, I just wanted a friend, but now I just get sad because I'm being ignored.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I feel like I need to stifle my expectations of people, I shouldn't expect them to be as excited about me as I am them and I think that ends up making me more upset than anything. I just wish I wasn't so crazy...

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

Does anyone else just get stuck thinking about people they used to know and realize it only goes 1 way and those other people probably never even think about you anymore.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

Sometimes I just really want to go home, but I don't mean to the house I live in. I mean back home where I grew up, my heart still belongs there and I constantly miss all my friends and family there. I hate visiting because the hurt is so much worse after leaving.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

Do you ever think your life is just a series of mistakes, one after another piling up just wait to topple over? Do you ever just wonder that somewhere some way there is a version of you that didn't make the wrong decisions time and time again? Does it hurt to think that?

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

And coming back to where I grew up seeing how some of my friends are doing and hearing about how others I know are just fills me with disappointment in myself I know it shouldn't but it does and I don't know what to do about it.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

Honestly hate coming home, I'm filled with regret and just disappointment in myself. I wish I never moved, I wished I kept in touch with people that I hadn't, I wish I knew what I wanted to do with myself and I just general am no where near where I was hoping to be at this point.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

I've been crying for the past 3ish hours and I just miss him with all my heart and I want him back so much. He didn't deserve the hand he was dealt, he deserved so much more than what this world could ever give him.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

Going back and watching his content for comfort and it hurts man for no reason. I have no reason to be this upset over someone I don't know, but it hurts knowing I'll never be able to hear him again. He didn't deserve this and I'd do anything for us to get him back.

[Just Some Guy @Just_sum_guy_]

Today I have learned that someone who has brought me so much joy, so many laughs and so much inspiration has sadly passed away from cancer. Although I did not know him personally he still meant so much to me and it hurts that he is gone. I hope so much that he is at peace.