𝕵𝖚𝖘𝖙𝖈𝖑𝖎𝖕𝖘72🎬

fight clips 🥷 || Turn on🔔 ||

[dannymurda @Yatsomurda9]

I smoke weed so often that I forget it's illegal. I mean, I smoke it every day. It's weird. I don't even get why it's illegal to begin with.

[𝙀𝙣𝙯𝙤✩ @Wydenzoo]

My 8 year old came home from school and handed me a folded piece of paper. I asked what it was and he said, “My teacher told me to give this to you.” I opened it expecting something about homework or behavior. It said, “Your son keeps giving his lunch away to another boy who never brings one.” I looked at him and asked why. He shrugged and said, “He says he's not hungry.” Then he looked down at the floor and said, “I know he's lying.”

[𝑳𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒚♡︎ @Lillyvibes95]

Never Block Blunt Instrument Strikes With Your Face

[𖤐 @nicotwts]

Bro wasn't bluffing... he was ready to crash out. 😭

[Her. @Fiances_]

My coworker had a habit of “forgetting” to mention me whenever our team got praised for something I helped with.

At first, I ignored it.

Then one Friday, our manager congratulated him for fixing a problem I had spent three days working on. He smiled and said, “Yeah, it was a team effort,” without mentioning me once.

So I stopped arguing and started documenting everything.

[v4mp ✣ @lfghiro]

White Hate Crime

A black thug harasses a white woman while she walks her dog, and a passerby gets injured trying to help her.

[𝐄.🚩 @Wyd_eshuu]

Why are men so obsessed with sex…????

[A. 🃏 @abubakr_ABK]

I need my money to start behaving like it understands the assignment.

I don’t need millions right now.

I just want to buy something I like without first asking myself how many other problems that money could solve.

[A. 🃏 @abubakr_ABK]

Some people don’t actually want an honest answer when they ask, “What’s wrong?”

They want you to say “nothing.”

So when you actually tell them what’s wrong, suddenly you’re “doing too much.”

[xxxl @bitchonx01]

Let’s disappear, just me and you only 🥺🫶❤️

[Dbrown♠️ @DollyBrown70]

Dat right hook crazy took him a min to process it📷📷

[𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓍𝓎 🎀 @luvblexy]

So old that I lied about my age to be on FF, had to get an invite to Ao3, & I have no idea what’s going on with Wattpad?

[𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓍𝓎 🎀 @luvblexy]

A coworker told me why they went vegan:
A farmer told him that a cow had twins, but they didn't realize a second calf had been born for two weeks. The mother hid her child in a bluff of trees and would feed it in hiding. She knew they would take it.
And they did.

[𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓍𝓎 🎀 @luvblexy]

“Vegans are so extreme.”
My brother in cholesterol, you are eating a corpse between two pieces of bread and calling me dramatic because I chose lentils.

[𝓘𝓒𝓔 ❄︎ @be_like_ice]

You ever was eating pussy & just looked at it and started kissing it.

[𝓘𝓒𝓔 ❄︎ @be_like_ice]

Some of you don’t give head for your own pleasure and it shows.

[✿ Elisa✿ @Ruthhaslanded]

Looks like Ursula didn't stay in school 🤣

[𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐀 ᥫ᭡ @glxsyy_0]

The biggest red flag in a man is not even cheating.

It’s when he knows he doesn’t want anything serious with you, but still gives you just enough attention to keep you around. 😭