Mr Justice Serious

Just a High Court Judge in the Family Division - these are my musings. Spoof/Parodia/Serious

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Day 3 of 3. Litigant in person ended his submissions yesterday by saying, “BOOM.”
I have grown fond of him. It’s been two days of “do you feel me” and “that’s not how it went down.” I may just drop the mic at the end of my judgment.

#FridayFeeling

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

I enjoy it when counsel says, “I make no criticism but it is a shame that this document was not in the bundle.”
Instructing solicitor 👇

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

No fault what? This must have passed me by. #nofaultdivorce

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

It’s very simple. On the 3rd Tuesday in the month and every other Thursday and Friday thereafter attend in person,unless it’s a leap year- then deduct one day. Capiche? #FamilyLaw

[FLBA @FamilyLawBar]

Attended hearings - Family Division at RCJ only from 1 March 2022. First hearings to be listed as fully attended hearings subject to a direction to the contrary on the basis of bests interests of justice. Does NOT apply to courts other than RCJ. See below 👇

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Dear Sirs

We acknowledge receipt of your letter sent by facsimile after hours on 28 January; the hard copy was received today. We have forwarded the same to our client for instructions and shall revert to you in due course.

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Congratulations to all the shiny new recorders. I look forward to considering your appeals.

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

You bank statement clearly shows that you paid a huge sum of money for a yacht not disclosed by you within these proceedings. Exhibit BS-4 is a picture of you on the yacht named “catch me if you can.” You’ve been caught.
Witness: let’s see what Sue Gray says.

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Lady Serious looked sheepish so I checked her browsing history. #TheLawyerHot100

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Tips for aspiring barristers. These daily steps got me here:

1. 4:30 AM wakeup
2. Yoga
2. Ice bath
3. Gratitude journal
4. Meditation
5. Daddy is Head of Chambers

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

I know you’re busy but please send me the draft..

⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜
⬜🟨🟨⬜🟩
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🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

ORDER!!!!

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Well done to all who will be taking silk. An exquisite name caught my eye from @CrownOfficeCh
Miss Claire Toogood QC - no one stands a chance! #qc

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

What an appointment. Good luck to any blaggers out there!

[1GC Family Law @1GCFamilyLaw]

Chambers is delighted to announce the appointment of Sarah Morgan QC as a High Court Judge

She will take up her appointment from 11 Jan 22 and will be known as the Honourable Mrs Justice Morgan

Sarah will be assigned to the Family Division

Please join us in congratulating her

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

If there’s one thing Mostyn J detests more than cats it’s a child abduction case in his money list.

https://t.co/K9ktQ7XXUY

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Good luck to all those at the #familylawawards tonight @JPFamilyLaw
You are all winners but if you don’t win, smile. 😊

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

That special moment as a judge when you realise that your nemesis at the bar is appearing before you.

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Silk and 3 years on the bench

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Five items you should never leave in court:

1. doodles of the Judge
2. I-pad charger
3. Highlighters
4. Polos
5. Marlboro menthols

[Manchester News MEN @MENnewsdesk]

“As the weather gets colder, we should be mindful of what not to leave in our cars."
https://t.co/QQYMDTAHrV

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

You are 40 minutes into your CVP hearing. Your dog is “scooting”across the carpet, shortly to come into view. You have 15 seconds to prevent this. If you fail you are eliminated.
#LegalSquidGames

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Counsel to witness, “It’s as plain as a pikestaff…”

Witness, “It can’t be that plain mate given that I don’t have a scooby as to what the fuck a pikestaff actually is.” 🤷‍♂️

#bestthingsheardincourt

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

27 missed calls and voice messages screaming “whatsuuuuuuuppppp.”
Who is responsible for loading Sir Andrew with jaeger bombs?!

#jerseyinternationalfamilylawconference

[Mr Justice Serious @JusticeSerious]

Congratulations to all those exceptional, tenacious, formidable, concise lawyers who go the extra mile, have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the law and a good manner. You have the ear of the court.
#Legal500