@TBSNetwork: Come watch playoff baseball here!
Also @TBSNetwork: JK. We’re gonna cut the broadcast in the middle of play because we hate our viewers and there’s nothing they can do about it.
Remember when you got @tacobell expecting cheap delicious food? Spent $6 on a taco today and the shell was stale, tasted bland, and was overall incredibly underwhelming. Turns out their Live Mas campaign is actually to make you stop eating there, helping your overall health.
@elonmusk I miss the days when you were thought of as being the real life Iron Man and not just some weird rich piece of shit who is desperate for attention
@TelcommCU I am desperately trying to get a hold of you. You have turned off both of my debit cards for trying to make purchases. How are you going to deny my purchases and give me no way to approve transactions on a holiday weekend? I’m stranded now.