The Lessons I Learned from My Dad
I am not the man my father is.
I am trying. Some days closer. Some days farther.
He never sat me down and explained these lessons. He lived them. I’m still learning them.
Show up.
The kitchen table. The hospital room. The funeral. The picket line. The call from the son who won’t answer.
Show up.
Most days that’s the whole job.
My whole life I watched him do it. Not for cameras. Not for headlines. Not because there was something in it for him. He showed up because someone needed him.
I learned that grief doesn’t make you special.
My father buried a wife and daughter. He buried a son. Yet he never treated grief as a claim on other people’s sympathy. Instead, it made him notice theirs.
A mother who lost a child. A father sitting beside a hospital bed. A kid scared about what comes next. A son who lost his mother, his sister, his brother.
He always noticed.
I learned that power is not the point.
The people who chase power eventually confuse the office with themselves.
My father never did.
Whether he was a county councilman, a senator, vice president, or president, he was the same man.
The title changed.
He didn’t.
I learned that family comes first.
The train from Wilmington wasn’t symbolism.
It was every night.
He read to us. Showed up to games. Sat through hospital rooms. Waited up for children who were lost.
And when the day came that the country and the family could not both have him at full strength, he chose family. He relinquished the last chapter of how he wanted to be remembered. And he never complained about it.
Most of all, I learned that love is not soft.
Love is discipline.
Love is showing up at one in the morning when nobody is watching.
Love is answering the phone.
Love is staying.
Love is getting back up after life knocks you down and doing it all again tomorrow.
That love saved my life.
I’ve failed at many of these lessons, sometimes in very public ways.
He loved me anyway.
That’s the last lesson.
I am not trying to become my father.
I am trying to carry what he gave me.
And if I can do that, even imperfectly, that will be enough.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you.
BREAKING NEWS
The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided to award the 2025 #NobelPeacePrize to Maria Corina Machado for her tireless work promoting democratic rights for the people of Venezuela and for her struggle to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy.
#NobelPrize
As many of you know, Paul McCartney was in Albuquerque tonight doing a show.
What you may not know is that I was lucky enough to get him on the Talking Grammer podcast!
Here's a clip... https://t.co/DbiUAc2ccL
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School board and city council races are on tap around state, with key mayoral contests in Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Taos and Roswell.
https://t.co/amJAEqpMQN via @ABQJournal
Black Lives Matter of New Mexico, along with over 100 protesters, gathered in front of APD headquarters in support of Jayvon Givan. Story by @ABQJournal reporter @NakaylaABQ
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@LindauAndrade @ABQJournal Linda, We did, here is a link to the story by @ABQJournal reporter @NakaylaABQ
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100s of local firefighters participate in the 9/11 memorial Stair Climb at the Washington Federal Building in Albuquerque, Thursday morning. @ABQJournal
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My latest story, https://t.co/SoYR9KxNuk
APD Deputy Chief of Police
Barker provides a statement following an officer involved shooting near Eubank and Hotel Ave NE on Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2025. @ABQJournal#ois#Albuquerque
BREAKING: Jack Layne has been named New Mexico’s starting quarterback, per Jason Eck.
Idaho transfer was in a competition with James Laubstein throughout camp. Both were notified of the decision before tonight’s practice.
Story to come!
#BREAKINGNEWS On the scene of a police shooting in the Foothills. One woman was fatally shot by police. This is the 12th OIS of the year and the 8th fatal shooting.
Multi-agency task force investigate an officer involved shooting near the EconoLodge near Eubank and Hotel Ave. in Albuquerque on Aug. 19, 2025. @ABQJournal