Katie J

[Kimya Dawson @mrskimyadawson]

Remember that I ❤️ you.

And hit the fucking streets.

[Katie J @KaiitlinJones]

@gecer_demet @latimes Neither?

[𝔐 @vsmarzz]

third base is when they see u cry

[Zuckles @zuckles]

Just wanna punch a cone and die

[Drew Monson @mytoecold]

Michael Cera just tell us if you’re okay

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

Gay culture is hanging a pride flag but being too lazy to steam the obvious wrinkles.

[hummus wife ⓥ @eatpussynotpigs]

anyone: almond milk :-)

dairy farmers:
https://t.co/L6IgzvK0rB

[Post Malone @PostMalone]

god must hate me lol

[JonTron @JonTronShow]

I HATE THE TEXTURE OF MOST FRUIT THERE I’VE SAID IT

[JonTron @JonTronShow]

Is Infinity War some sort of new Call of Duty game or something?

[Matt Wilstein @mattwilstein]

Larry David points out a "very disturbing pattern" in the barrage of sexual harassment accusations. More here: https://t.co/uheOt9NNgR #SNL

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.