Kara Kostal

I lead an awkward life. Proverbs 16:33. MIZ GBR

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

My neighborhood no joke smells like fresh baked blueberry muffins right now. How can I be expected to exercise and eat healthy in these conditions? 🤤

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Where were you the night John Cook took a cowboy hat from the student section? #NebraskaVolleyball

GBR ❤️

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Hot take: The windy season is more exasperating than the snowy season.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

This week’s laundry included both puffer vests and sundresses.

Ah, Nebraska.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Idiots: the official sponsor of roads everywhere.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

This New Girl scene and “Just Wanna Rock” by Lil Uzi Vert.

Same vibes.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Instead of paying to sufficiently heat my house, I’ve started buying really spicy foods to eat when I’m cold.

(fake) #LifeHack

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

I can’t tell how old anyone is anymore, and it’s overwhelming.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Math Problem:

Kara buys a bag of 125 pieces of chocolate 11 days before Halloween. She makes it 1 day before opening the bag to eat a candy bar for herself. She then starts eating 3 pieces a day.

How many trick-or-treaters can actually get candy from her house on Halloween? 😅

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

I’m about to vote for whichever candidate DOESN’T TEXT ME about their platform.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Going through my clothes as I prepare to move, and tonight I had to give my tear-away pants the 9-snap salute because RIP elastic waistband from the early aughts 🪦💔

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

I’m not going to say I’m an unhealthy eater; but I’m also not going to say I didn’t just eat a spoonful of fudge ice cream topping before 10:30 a.m. on a Thursday.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Why is customer service on-hold music 75% louder than any other sound on this planet?

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Is anyone working on a chapstick with a higher melting point? It hasn’t even hit 100 yet, and we’ve got a car casualty on our hands 🫠

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

My toxic trait is aggressively holding my line when people are creeping into my lane or following unnecessarily close - as if their F-150 won’t absolutely annihilate my Camry.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

As a 30-year-old adult, I have discovered no, you cannot just be whelmed.

Sometimes under. Mostly over. Never comfortably whelmed.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

Skin in your teens: acne
Skin in your 40s: wrinkles

Skin in your 30s:

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

I have received 👏🏼27👏🏼 spam calls this week.

I have no real point here. I just needed to let that out before I explode.

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

February vitamin D levels be like

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

@kassandraprice Literally no part of this tweet surprises me in any way 😂

[Kara Kostal @KaraKostal]

I think the worst thing about counting calories is realizing that you were not, in fact, gaining weight for “no reason” before…