Katie

[Katie @katievebee]

@bunnnies24 @alyssaleann An eyebrow wax would do WONDERS on giving a more polished look. Not even a shaping, just a clean up. We know the ladies are booking appointments before the olympics. The men could get a facial!

[Katie @katievebee]

@daylightsashley https://t.co/Qii5SngZ9n

[Katie @katievebee]

Me, canvassing ‘strong democrats’ knock on a house with two listed women, 54F and 26F. Man answers the door, I give my intro, he abruptly says, “Republican or Democrat?”. I say Democrat. He says, “This is a Republican household” and slams the door.
I just apologize and leave.

[Jean @queens_parents]

I’m at a loss for words at how condescending this is towards women. Do the Dems think marriages are stuck in the 1950’s?

[✴︎ kitt ✴︎ @profeshkitten]

babe are you ok you’ve barely touched your full potential

[Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa]

a bunny keeps stealing my cilantro, but the joke is on him because i love him and want him to be happy

[eli yudin @eliyudin]

“are you just going to lay in bed all day”

would you judge a frog resting atop a lilypad? would you criticize a flower for enjoying the sun??

[boob dylan @BYUsupersoaker]

it’s gonna be a joe biden summer (eating ice cream and forgetting where I am)

[trash jones @jzux]

"who hurt you?" oh my parents, the economy, rent prices, my unrealistic expectations, that weird thing i said last week, the government, do you want me to keep going

[Akela Lacy @akela_lacy]

"dissent must never lead to disorder" is a pretty remarkable thing to say in a country founded on both of those things

[.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin]

therapist: pick your battles

me: okay gettysburg

[☔ @Whotfismick]

my brain at 3am:

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

"I don't get why you set so many alarms"

congrats on being able to rocket back to existence every morning but some of us have to be gradually raised from the depths like the remains of an ancient shipwreck being brought to the surface

[trash jones @jzux]

happy international women’s day to anyone i’ve met in a bar bathroom. you are all my sisters now

[Night Vale podcast @NightValeRadio]

I live life according to the golden rule.
("The first meal you eat each day is breakfast no matter what time it is.")

[abrish @cxrnerrstone]

born to stargaze, forced to live in a light-polluted city

[kenzi @kenzianidiot]

they say “do one thing every day that scares you” and that is why every day i wake up and participate in society

[Alexandra Petri @petridishes]

turns out that Having Rights is still inexplicably popular

[2000s @PopCulture2000s]

so… my future depends on ME?

[☔ @Whotfismick]

nobody:

me looking at how pretty the moon is