understand this: you can sound confident and have anxiety. you can look healthy but feel like shit. you can look happy but miserable inside. you can be good looking and feel ugly. so be kind, every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about
Today I sat and watched the documentary on the life of Sinead O'Connor on Sky in tears, and I have to say, I have never ever felt more inspired or proud to be a child abuse campaigner. What an outstanding, brave woman and what a legacy.
I spent the first 16 yrs of my life locked up in the care system in Scotland in the hands of the Catholic church and I suffered horrific sexual abuse.
I have been a child abuse campaigner for over 25 yrs and I have followed the work this legend and many others have done for survivors of child abuse for years. I have done some extraordinary things to raise awareness of clergy abuse in π΄σ §σ ’σ ³σ £σ ΄σ ΏScotland (view my tweets) but this woman really put her life on the line for victims and survivors of clergy abuse all over the world.
Scotland has been described as one of the few countries left in the world where the Catholic church is more powerful than the government, why? Because over 75% of all in care abuse was caused by the Catholic church and if all the survivors of in care abuse in Scotland were to come forward it would cost hundreds of millions of pounds and the Catholic church dont want to pay that and the Scottish goverment cant afford it so they both work together to keep this quite and even more so now while we have the Scottish child abuse inquiry into in care abuse and the Scottish child abuse redress scheme going on, which more than half the country arent even aware of because there has never been a national awareness campaign by the Scottish goverment. Nor may I add have we ever had any political opponents comment on??
As far as they all are concerend it is most important that awareness is kept to a minimum and wo betide anyone who speaks out. You might then start asking why was it so easy for the Scottish criminal justice system to throw me in prison without ever being interviewed by the police or a lawyer. Let that sink in....
The problem is that if we as a nation had adressed this issue 15/20/25 years ago when people like me were standing outside the Scottish parliament raising awareness we wouldnt be in this dark hole where denial and deceit is costing lives, and many survivors are taking their abuse to the grave drowning in a sea of addiction and abandonment and living in the constant nightmares of being sexually abused, beaten,starved, silenced, isolated, abandoned, disbeleived, discredited, inprisoned or thrown into mental hospitals and then we have these charities and organisations, swimming around in a crocodile pit, snapping and biting at every opportunity to make money out of these poor souls because there is no regulations, because for years and years no one asked any questions and whenever anyone did they were quickly silenced.
The people of Scotland need to understand that sexually abused children take on a whole new personality to survive.They wear a mask to hide the pain of who they really are.The only time they take off the mask is when they are with people they feel safe around. Many survivors spend their whole lives wearing a mask because there is a rule in Scotland that no one talks about child sex abuse.
Scottish people are intensely proud people who dont like to show any fear or weakness. The children of Scotland are taught at a very young age not to show their emotions. Children are smacked for crying and told that we should never ever show any weaknessness.
When survivors of child sex abuse come forward we are hated because we show the vulnaribilities of these proud people. We dont do it intentialy, its just because of who we are. People put up intense barriers to protect these vulnarabilities and will go to extraordinary lengths to protect themselves which often includes turning on survivors and exploiting their weakness to cover up their own weakness.
Only when we start to understand this we will be able to put our political banners aside and talk about this and change that culture and think of the future of the children of Scotland and ask why are so few survivors coming forward and why are so many survivors of child sex abuse ending up in Scottish prisons and mental health institutions when they try and come forward to have their voices heard, and their children are being put right back into the care system that destroyed their families in the first place.
Why is it that year after year we hear the tragic rising of drug deaths in Scotland but no one ever makes any effort to include the underlying issues of these deaths when we know that if you turn back a page in the tragic story of that death you will find the real trauma that poor soul has carried their whole life?
Everyone is terrified to mention the words child sex abuse in Scotland because for decades and even centuries we have been dominated by the Catholic church. If anyone reading this, and before the inevitable barage of abuse starts on social media can I ask you to read in full my tweet dated Jul 14. and also my poem on forgiveness.
Have you seen my tribute to Sinead O'Connor on Twitter? So far it has been veiwed almost half a million times and growing. People across the globe are taking notice. Whilst fully respecting the families wishes and also being aware that people are now taking to the streets of Dublin and other cities around the world paying tribute to this couragous woman and raising awareness of clergy abuse because this woman stood up for us all,my group S.A.F.E. are working on a huge banner to march with survivors and raise awareness of clergy abuse across the world, in preperation for any public tribute and to raise awareness of how survivors of child sex abuse are treated in Scotland, but first we must all respect the families wishes. R.I.P. my warrior sister. π