K-bec

Life in Kbecistan is a whole deal.
Someone has to document it.

[K-bec @KBec]

Two schoolboys cut in front of me in a line at SOL.
I gave them the Clint Eastwood squint.
One says:
“Chill out, granddad. You ain’t got nowhere to go.
Motherf...
You know how lions sometimes eat their young?
I get it.

#bajan #storytime

[K-bec @KBec]

I’m old AF.
3 pills in the morning. 4 at night allegedly to keep me alive.
Every annual physical generates another specialist visit.
So I tried ChatGPT for reassurance.
It basically told me I’m doing well… for someone pushing 80.
Yuh muddah, ChatGPT. Yuh Muddah!

#bajan #aging

[K-bec @KBec]

I once interviewed someone who believed dinosaurs didn’t go extinct, they left Earth in a spaceship.

I’ve met many people with unique beliefs.

But if those beliefs haven’t reached T-Rex-gripping-a-spaceship-steering-wheel levels, you’re just a poser to me.

#comedy #humour

[K-bec @KBec]

I'm in such a dry spell that I'd forgotten what latex even feels like.
Great news though: that all changed last week.
Sure it was during my annual physical... but I'm counting it!
#LifeAfter50 #Adulting

[K-bec @KBec]

@suzieqziee You could, but I expect you to be sobbing near the grave 😉

[K-bec @KBec]

Upon my death, two critical roles will be activated.
Head of Sensitive Item Disposal & Digital Erasure. Position filled.
Mysterious Woman in the Distance. Full black attire including hat & veil required. Black umbrella essential come rain or shine.
Applications are now open.

[K-bec @KBec]

You know what Fallin’, Can’t Get You Out of My Head and U Got It Bad have in common?
They all turn 25 this year!
Old enough to drink.
Old enough to vote.
Old enough to walk into a bar and be aggressively evaluated by some of my 50-something year old friends.
You know who you are.

[K-bec @KBec]

Weekday drinking after 50 is like childbirth.
Your brain tricks you into forgetting the trauma... until the next time.
#Bajan #barbados #drunk

[K-bec @KBec]

A night this week, a passenger in my car complained of being cold. So I turned off the A/C and opened the windows.
Spent the next few minutes reassuring my car that she wasn't being stolen and it was, in fact, still me driving. #FirstWorldProblems #Barbados

[K-bec @KBec]

I reverse out of my garage through a narrow gate with one mirror check. Like a boss!
Put me in a wide-open supermarket car park and I’m using every camera angle, both mirrors, turning my neck and questioning my entire existence.
#DrivingLife #Adulting #Relatable #WhyAmILikeThis

[K-bec @KBec]

There is nothing... NOTHING... I'm more thankful for than the fact that centipedes do not fly #bugs #insects #fear #phobia

[K-bec @KBec]

I discovered that I can separate art from the artist.
Ignition (Remix) by R. Kelly? Slaps!
Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound stuff? Iconic!
Louis CK's time travel bit? Floors me!
But the real test? Life After Death by Biggie is a Diddy joint… and it’s still a banger to me.
Sigh!

[K-bec @KBec]

The fact that this damn robot phone has not been able to find Last Christmas Eve by De Original Duck anywhere online has diminished my expectations for AI, technology and the future.

[K-bec @KBec]

Random friend: We liming, come through. Me: Who’s there? Random friend: Just the guys and the girl that gave you a look last week. Me:

[K-bec @KBec]

@CheyneJoness Great. Now I know how it feels to be the outside boy toy of a married television personality

[K-bec @KBec]

@CheyneJoness

[K-bec @KBec]

Seriously. What is with the sudden influx of stray chickens everywhere? I can think of 2 possible reasons: 1. The chicken apocalypse is nigh; 2. Someone severely screwed up the We Gathering invitations #bajan #wegathering

[K-bec @KBec]

Actual footage of my 50 year old ass trying to dance with a young girl #aging

[K-bec @KBec]

This is my beard goal right here. And this will also be my version of a mic drop at the end of every argument #BeardGang

[K-bec @KBec]

I am positive that we men are dumb because I absolutely consider that sign as necessary #men