Ken MacLaughlin

Screenwriter, sketchwriter, cartoonist.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

It's possible I look back on this week as the best of my life. Those owed thanks know who you are. Expect a tag-riddled FB post soon.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Feeling that good kinda nervous #standup

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

You don't think you're superstitious til your barber says, at least you're not losing your hair, and you make her stop to go knock on wood.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Gravity makes the world go round.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

I met a normal person once. It was weird.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Congratulations #apple, you did the impossible and made me f*cking hate rainbows.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

@leannaadams Today I greeted my nephew with empty pizza boxes and left with some of his toys. #worstuncleever #indiefilmmaker

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

A lotta young women in Atlanta with men who look like their uncles. #justanobservation

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Vacations are for game show contestants. #driven

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

If you say the term #Pew poll really fast it sounds like poophole. You're welcome, Twitter.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

I'd run a terrible dating service for ends. I just can't make them meet. Shitty financial times call for shitty jokes. #ThebestIcanafford

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Nothing helps you get past petty personal issues like having heavy financial ones fuck you 10x harder. #fml

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

#LASIK must hate #hipsters for making glasses cool. They should offer reversal surgery #ihadLasikReversalBeforeItWasCool

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Fucking up is like failing forward. Just keep moving in the right direction.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Age has brought me the opposite of what I'd have thought; give me standup comics and really good rappers and keep your poets and novelists.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

If 30's the new 20 a lot of people are drinking underage.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Today was a good writing day. I'll take it every time.

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Just read a bumper sticker: "God's grace is sufficient." Seemed like an underwhelming endorsement for an omnipotent being. #godissufficient

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Thanks to #Vine I finally have a medium to excel at porn. #sixseconds

[Ken MacLaughlin @KenMacLaughlin]

Skip Bayless's name should never be in a sentence that doesn't also contain the word "who?". That's the only way he'll go away.