key

[key @KEY_Smith04]

Senior season! Thanks to everyone who was apart of it! https://t.co/uRxzKOROdD

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@CollinRugg No golf course though?

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@vulturetrades SPY

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

BBQ RULES:
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food. Ensuring she is educated in the correct cuts of steak to purchase.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
🤣🤣

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Went to the doctor the other week

My wife made the appointment

She said I "look tired"

I said I am tired

She said "not normal tired. Weird tired."

I don't know what that means but I went anyway

Nice office

Fish tank in the lobby

Third one this year

Signed in at 1:48pm

My appointment was at 2:00pm

12 minutes early

Because I was raised to believe that matters

The receptionist said "the doctor is running a little behind"

I said "how far behind"

She said "about 45 minutes"

I said "so my 2:00 appointment is actually a 2:45 appointment"

She said "we appreciate your patience"

I said "I haven't shown any yet"

My wife grabbed my arm

There was a sign behind the desk

"Missed appointments without 24-hour notice will incur a $75 fee"

The doctor was 45 minutes late

Nobody offered me $75

We sat down

CNN was playing on mute with subtitles

Running a segment about New York City redesigning its trash cans

Cost the city $4 million

I looked at my wife

She said "don't start"

Seven magazines on the table

All from 2019

I read an article about supply chain disruptions that have since been resolved

Very informative

My wife was on her phone

She looked up and said "WebMD says you might be dehydrated"

I said "so we're paying $1,800 for a second opinion on WebMD"

She went back to her phone

At 2:54pm they called my name

A nurse walked me to a room

Took my blood pressure

Took my temperature

Typed for three minutes

Then said "the doctor will be right in"

I sat on the paper

The paper ripped immediately

I looked at the wall

There was a diagram of a colon

Not how I planned to spend my Tuesday

3:19pm

The doctor walked in

1 hour and 19 minutes after my scheduled appointment

He was looking at his phone

Shook my hand without making eye contact

Sat down and read my chart for about 30 seconds

While I sat there watching him learn who I was

He said "so what brings you in today"

I said "my wife thinks I look weird tired"

He said "what does that mean"

I said "I was hoping you'd tell me"

He said "when's the last time you had bloodwork done"

I said "2019 maybe"

He said "we should run a full panel"

I said "fine"

He asked if I was sleeping well

I said "I have three kids and a golden retriever who thinks 3am is a reasonable time to need outside"

He said "are you drinking enough water"

I said "probably not"

He said "that might be it"

I said "you think the reason I look weird tired is because I don't drink enough water"

He said "dehydration is more common than people think"

I said "I've been here over an hour and sat on a piece of paper that ripped to be told to drink water"

He said "we'll know more when the bloodwork comes back"

I said "when will that be"

He said "3 to 5 business days"

I said "business days"

He said "yes"

I said "my blood has business days"

He didn't respond

Then he said "any other concerns"

I said "several. But none you can bill for."

He shook my hand again

Still no eye contact

Total face time with the doctor: 6 minutes

Total time in the building: 1 hour and 37 minutes

I was examined for approximately 6% of the time I was present

I've fired people for better numbers than that

My wife was in the waiting room

She asked how it went

I said "I need to drink water"

She said "I told you that last week"

I said "yes but now it's a medical opinion so it costs $1,800"

She didn't laugh

In the car she said "at least now you know you're fine"

I said "I was fine when I walked in. I just didn't have the receipt to prove it."

She didn't disagree

The bloodwork came back four business days later

Everything was normal

The doctor's office sent a message through their portal

It said "results look great. Continue to stay hydrated and follow up in 12 months."

Follow up in 12 months

To be told to drink water again

$1,800

1 hour and 37 minutes

6 minutes of face time

One ripped piece of paper

And the same advice my wife gave me for free

Plz fix. Thx.

Sent from my iPhone

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@Rainmaker1973 @grok where can I buy this?

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@TheMattViera Invest in s&p. Mine did 17% this year. Use the 12% difference to pay don’t the student loans. Duh

[Lounge dawg(I am emotionally scarred) @lounge_dawg]

Me inspecting a brisket mid cook

[CFB Kings @CFBKings]

BYU defeated that 9-4 TCU team, who just beat #16 USC, by 31 points… when TCU had their starting QB.

11-1 in the regular season with their only loss coming on the road to a Top 5 opponent.

These bowl results are making BYU’s already egregious snub from the CFP even worse by the day. All because the SEC (2-5 in bowls) needed 5 bids.

[Joe Wheat @joewheat27]

Remember when Notre Dames best win was in a dog fight with a team missing its starting QB that BYU beat by 30?

[Bachmeier_for_heisman @mvp30_curry]

SEC… it just means more right? @Lane_Kiffin

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@melinasphotos @KirkHerbstreit fsu is a cupcake 😂😂

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@stoolpresidente Can’t shotgun faster than this Mormon.

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@wakeupbarstool @stoolpresidente @stoolpresidente let a byu fan beat you shotgunning

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

A fair way to decide on how you’re going to spend the day

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@JimmyRex Or c he smoked pot before the flight

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@HaterReport_ Yea she was

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@WillBrinson What’s wrong with his lil finger tho 😂

[Mark Cuban @mcuban]

Hey @AOC , @BernieSanders , @SenSchumer , @SenWarren , every Dem should be thanking @potus for doing what the Dems have dreamed of doing, but have NEVER been able to do, creating a sales tax on 2 of the biggest semi companies in the country ! This opens the door for Sales Tax for export licenses on EVERYTHING!
He is going to generate corporate tax revenue that you guys only wish you could pass. You should be thanking him all day, every day for this brilliant move you guys couldn't ever pull off !

In the future, don't call it a tax, call it a Commission for America. BOOM !

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@LaciMarieKnight Yea. Stop doing it. It’s terrible

[key @KEY_Smith04]

@mymixtapez My boy was smacked