Keytar for Keyboard Union President

can you honestly say you've ever had a bad experience with a keytar // endorsed by @PiApplePi1

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

On the weekend I work for the Oregon Department of Humans for Cervezas.

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

@PiApplePi1 @LinfieldUniv @McMinnvilleOR @LinfieldUniv in its yassification era

[prance @bocxtop]

capitalism is crazy cuz what do u mean MLK day sales???

[Ashlyn O'Hara @ashlyn_ohara]

Kenai Peninsula journo stans: the Peninsula Clarion is hiring a general assignment reporter! There's a lot happening on the peninsula and not a lot of people covering it. Pay not listed, but I started at $15.50/hr in 2020 #KPBorough #JournoJobs https://t.co/paBqqemz0b

[Potterhead Pod @PiApplePi1]

zendaya was in that commercial more than she was in dune

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

There is a 50% chance that I am 100% totally bi.

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

You start one grease fire at work and everyone gets all mad at you. What about all the days I DIDN'T burn down the building?!?!

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

I would punch Ben Shapiro for free

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

Spotify has figured out an algorithm that knows exactly when I am sufficiently drunk and then presents the perfect playlist for a one person rager. On-line privacy be damned.

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

In this time of Great Triumph let’s not forget those TikTok youths who successfully trolled a Trump rally by buying seats and not showing up. You are the future.

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

Y'all ready for the series finale of The American Experiment tomorrow night?

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

Nobody:

Absolutely NOBODY:

The Customer: ahaha what if... and hear me out... I ruin this person’s entire day because I have a total of 2 brain cells?

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

Things I am straight up not having:
1. Sex (virgin nation)
2. A good time

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

Is it wrong to tweet this before the debate?

Fact checkers every time Trump opens his mouth:

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

I love when people say “Don’t be a sheep” as if sheep aren’t both fucking cool and also waterproof. I am already less cool than a sheep.

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

22 year old me when I found out D.A.R.E. Doesn’t stand for “drugs are really exciting”

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

register to vote
I'm a keytar so I can't
that is voter fraud

https://t.co/tc3ojueUig
#NationalVoterRegistrationDay

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

I don’t go to bars because I’m bored, I go to bars because I hate myself

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

I don’t go to bars because I’m bored, I go to bars because I hate myself

[Keytar for Keyboard Union President @KeytarforASLC]

Who’s gonna tell Smokey the Bear that we actually can’t prevent wildfires... only our government and Fortune 500 companies can?