I have learned to offer no resistance to what is; I have learned to allow the present moment to be and to accept the impermanent nature of all things and conditions.
Too many men and women allow their unflattering realisations of the opposite sex to demoralise them into nihilism. They start obsessing over what is undesirably common, and use that as a reason to give up, when they should instead obsess over what is rare, and look to make themselves worthy of it.
Generalisations exist solely as a signposts for directional truths - they are indicators: "on net aggregate, this is what is most common or frequent, so consider it the default" - so naturally, where the stated conclusion is negative or undesirable, deviations from it are preferable.
It is not very likely you are going to reverses negative trends and see group level changes in the direction you'd like, but it is far more likely you can find an outlier who does not express those unfavourable traits.
In fact, when a desirable trait is rare, it is more likely to be deeply structural, earned, and reflective of the individual who possesses it, and thus truer and purer because it was earned in a hostile environment (like an oasis in a desert) as opposed to a flattering one (like water in an ocean).
For example, if you require your spouse to be religious, but you live in a society where almost everybody is religious, this means very little as a filtering mechanism, because the population at large is socialised into that religion. Now live in a secular atheist society and find someone who has found their way to God in spite of their environment, and you have a much stronger indicator.
Both are technically religious, but one most vehemently and assuredly chose God, where the other only may have, because they are the byproduct of sociocultural inertia. Either way, the result is the same: both people are religious, but it means more when it is an outlier trait.
This means a woman who is saving herself for marriage in a society where there is rare, is more valuable than a woman who is doing the same in a society where it is common. Or a man who is pure of heart in a society full of feminists, is more valuable than a man who is the same in a society full of sweethearts.
That which grows where it should not, against all odds, is always more precious.
You internalise the generalisations only to understand the environment you're operating in to protect yourself. You obsess over the outlier when that environment is negative, because only the outlier is worth having, and you must be one if you want one.
i don’t carry hate in my heart because i don’t wanna be ugly. i feel like being mean and hateful makes you physically unattractive. it start to show up in your face
I’m at a point in my life where as long as I know I did right by you, I’m okay with walking away when something no longer works. I used to hold on longer than I should’ve because I cared, because of history, or because I wanted things to work out. But I’ve learned you can’t keep carrying relationships by yourself. If I showed up, kept it real, and did my part, that’s enough for me. Whether it’s family, friends, whoever, I don’t force what’s no longer mutual. I just leave it where it’s at and keep moving.