kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ

Cauc-Asian

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

My TL seems to be full of people fighting about something. Idk what it is but I’m on team everyone matters, is loved, and has worth.

[Steve Pierce @PostJimmer]

Many thanks to Brett Yormark for inviting our old friends from the University of Utah into the Big 12 so BYU actually has a shot of winning at least a couple basketball games in conference every year. A truly generous gift from a great leader.

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

The Utah add suddenly makes sense

[Jason Scheer @jasonscheer]

There is also a real chance that the two additions would be basketball only. Yormark is going for the kill. Gonzaga and UConn would be just basketball additions and there have been discussions in the last 48 hours. Lot to work through with that though.

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

Those 🌹Bowl participant pics aren’t going to age well

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

Please @Big12Conference, don’t add Utah! Listen to BYU fans

[Alex Brock @alexhbrock]

@ChrisKarpman

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

Let’s not forget the real villains in fb realignment. The greedy college prez and conferences who grabbed as much money as possible without regard to the fans, rivalries, or anything that makes college football the best

Don’t cry to everyone that you were the latest victim

[RedditCFB @RedditCFB]

Knock knock.

[Trevor Sikkema @TampaBayTre]

One of my favorite SEC vs. Big10 games. Nothing like it

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

After the Battle of Shiloh in April 1862 , Many Civil War soldiers' lives were saved by a phenomenon they called 'Angel's Glow.' The soldiers who lay in the mud for two rainy days had wounds that began to glow in the dark.

The men had no explanation for the strange glow, but doctors soon discovered that soldiers who had reported seeing their wounds glow had a higher chance of survival than soldiers who did not. Not only that, they also seemed to have lower rates of infection. Moreover, their injuries appeared to heal much faster than their non-glowing counterparts.

In 2001, 17-year-old high school student, Bill Martin and his friend, Jonathan Curtis, won an international science fair by discovering that the soldiers had been so cold that their bodies created the perfect conditions for growing a bioluminescent bacteria, Photorhabdus luminescens, which ultimately destroyed the bad bacteria that could have killed them.

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

@ndy_Dwyer That’s a great way to get MRSA

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

@ndy_Dwyer The foot thing is weird BUT HE’SFACE FIRST ON THE FLOOR OF THE AIRPORT 🤮

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

Good news: A science test is not required

[Basketball University @UofBasketball]

Chris Paul is currently 3rd all-time in assists. He may move into 2nd all-time next season—passing Jason Kidd (590 behind)

To catch John Stockton, Paul would have to average over 850 assists a season for 5 more years…

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

@vakaviti GARMENT. TATOOS. I’ve been preaching this for years

[kimchi, Accepter of GFM offers/Hater of JimmyZ @kimchiBYU]

I can’t think of what I need less in my life than subscriber-only tweets

[George Mack @george__mack]

Spent the last 30 days in America

Some thoughts on the USA vs the UK:

1. Flags - In America, if you fly the national flag -- it's normal. In Britain, if you fly the national flag -- you're labeled a neo-nazi.

2. Accents - In America, if you drive for 2 hours -- people's accents don't change much. In Britain, if you drive for 2 hours -- people's accents change a lot.

3. Work - In American culture, people sell themselves well when meeting strangers. In British culture, you're taught to downplay everything you do.

4. Fashion - In America, the biggest companies are tech. In Europe, the biggest companies are fashion.

If you're European -- you immediately become the top 10% of fashion sense in America.

This rule even applies to Brits -- who are notoriously the worst dressed in Europe.

5. Nice cars - In America, if you have a nice car -- most people will ask: "Wow. What do you do for work?"

In Britain, if you have a nice car -- some people will wait for you to leave it, and scratch their key down the side of it.

6. The British accent - Most Brits don't realize this but Americans love the British accent.

You immediately appear smarter and more attractive than you are. The British accent is a commodity in the rest of the world -- except Britain.

If you have a British accent, the worst ROI you get for it is ironically in Britain.

Unfortunately, the reverse isn't true for American accents.

7. History - In the 1700s, Americans were the ones that decided to get on a random boat for 50 days and travel across the whole world in search of a better life.

The Brits were the ones that said: "What a silly idea. Why would I do that?!"

This historical A/B test can explain 99% of their differences generations later.

8. Decentralisation - In America, if you want to get into politics - Washington.

If you want to get into tech - San Francisco.

If you want to get into finance - New York.

If you want to get into entertainment - LA.

In Britain, if you want to get into elite politics, tech, finance, or entertainment: You move to London.

(Remote work and Manchester's boom is changing this slightly)

9. Anti-Fragile - American kids are told they can do anything. This is great -- but can result in fragile self-esteem when reality meets their imagination.

British kids take the piss out of one another. This looks bad on the surface -- but it results in anti-fragile self-esteem. You learn to publicly laugh at your own insecurities.

10. Comedy - Chris Rock once broke down the difference between him (American) and Ricky Gervais (British).

American comedy is often so loud. They shout to get their joke across to everyone in the room.

British comedy is usually subtle. The best joke is the one that only the smart people in the room understood.

11. Road rage - There appears to be less road rage in America relative to Britain.

In Britain, there are 10x more car horns and fights.

I suspect this might be because of bigger roads -- or that you're unsure if the person you're starting a fight with has a gun.

12. Naming conventions - America often calls things what they are.

E.g. Joshua Tree in LA -- because it has a lot of Joshua Trees.

In British culture, it's more obscure.

E.g. Big Ben's own Wikipedia page has a debate about why a clock is called Big Ben. All we know is it involved some bloke called Ben.

13. War scar tissue - During WW1 and WW2, Britain saw millions of people die near their own soil. Major British cities got bombed into rubble.

Americans have barely seen any losses near their land. And the wars where they did take damage (E.g. Iraq, Afghanistan, and Vietnam) - they were all so far away from America.

As a result, the British culture is more stoic. Brits mentally prepare for the worst outcome. It's the spirit that got us through watching our country get blown up twice.

Bonus thought:

14. Meta point - I poked more fun at Britain than America.

Why? Because I'm British. And mocking yourself rather than someone else is a very British thing to do.

And I love that part of British culture.

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Nuance: This is largely satire from my own personal observations. The sample size is 1 and none of the above is a scientific fact.