Kim Jong Un

Baller. Master equestrian. The Supreme Leader of the greatest nation in the Korean Peninsula. Parody account.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

Month of March. My new biography is out. I'm partying in Pyongyang tonight once again like it's my birthday. All hail the Supreme Leader. It's good to be me.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

I thoroughly enjoyed the first series of The Boys. That homelander chap is like an american version of me. Except without my triple chins, or my THICC booty.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

In North Korea elections are easy:

A: Vote For Kim Jong Un
B: I Choose To Die In A Labor Camp

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

Can somebody send me a profile of this new adversary of mine, Biden? I just had my whole intelligence crew fed to a dragon. Bunch of losers.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

I mean, there is always a place for Trump in North Korea.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

Back online. It's quarantine season bitches, but not in Pyongyang. You better get your ass to work or get in a labor camp.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

I had a blast on my 13th birthday of 2020 because it's basically my birthday everyday. Giant cakes, ice cream trucks, imported pizza, unicorns, booze, bitches & I launched like 36 missiles for every year I've lived. It's good to be a supreme leader.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

I'll be riding into World War III on a horse with a flat cap on like Thomas Shelby did on the very first scene of Peaky Blinders.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

I can't believe Iran is stealing my show. Just had my General fed to a tiger for not organizing a missile test today. Time to get things back in order.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

Accidentally hurt my feet after walking on my lego collection. Now lego is illegal in North Korea.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

I am willing to sit down & improve our international relations with Japan under one condition. Hentai.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

The White House can deny it but I confirm I slid into Mellania's DM. We didn't chat much. Just of how big & bad my rocket is. Nothing to worry about, America.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

People talk a lot about that guy Bruce Lee. And his nunchakus. Have you ever seen me with two hotdogs on both hands? You wouldn't wanna mess with me.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

The only person that scares the living shit out of me is John Wick.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

Don't mess with me, America. I'm so badass my fat belly is basically called a Death Star.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

My hairstyle is BOMB'astic.

And my skin care routine is nuCLEAR.

North Korea For The Win.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

Only reason I consented to meet the south was because I ran out of power while playing fortnite.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

I have a sexier haircut, bigger hands and a bigger butt than trump.

America 0
North Korea 3

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

If I was an avenger I'd choose to be iron man.

Rich, young and in a fat robot suit.

Levels.

[Kim Jong Un @KimJongNumberUn]

One time I ate like a 100 pancakes for breakfast.

I felt nothing.

So I made them illegal in North Korea.