“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom

I am the dad of Sam. I am NOT capable of physical labor. I WILL eat all of the burgers you give me. It is ALWAYS past my bedtime.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

In the world of turtles, ninjutsu finds its roots in New York.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

I’m over here now! https://t.co/19I9pM8tIC

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@jondaly Sounds “wicked”

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

The ENTIRE t-shirt collection!?

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

Do you have any idea how mad I would be if I were Grimace? Literally decades of just cashing the checks, and NOW they want to work his ass? They didn’t prepare him for this.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

The funniest outcome would be for that to be Biden’s coke.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

Jesus Christ, what a loser.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@LanceStorm Thank you, Mr. Storm.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

I love my boys.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

I just got served expired food at the @McDonalds on Madison, and for some reason THEY were mad at ME.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@frankiemuniz You’re in my thoughts, Frankie.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

If this were Nicholas Cage, people would be talking about what a cool mother fucker he was.

[New York Post @nypost]

Hunter Biden filmed himself smoking crack behind the wheel, driving at 172mph on way to Vegas: photos https://t.co/ExS2SqdTIJ

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@POTUS Eat shit, you slow bitch.

[Steven Castillo @STEEEZUSCHRIST]

Mortal Kombat theme remix

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@dudeandhisdogs I bet a hands full of them deserve it.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@Shazza_McKenzie My wife and I were super happy you won. Snapped this picture of you. Congrats champ!

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

Hey Judge Aileen
Cannon, Trump is so mean
Please convict him
On everything

Stole top secret docs
He kept them in a box
By his toilet
Next to shitting

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@FritschieComic I’d call it, “Fancy Dan Watched Breaking Bad.”

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

Unpopular opinion, but I LOVE saying, “I told you so!” It makes me feel superior.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@ActualNames1 That’s some old Dick.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

@FritschieComic Each is planning to kill the other, thinking the other doesn’t know, but they both do.