Krista Bried

Practitioner of the holy art of Internet Zen.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

I wonder why gas station bathrooms are alwsys locked,are they afraid someone is going to clean them.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

Life Tip: Autocorrect doesnt recognize tsunami so if anyone sends you a text that says Mao Tse Tung get the fuck away from the ocean

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

You're never too old to disappoint your parents.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

"Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great." - Machiavelli

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

Only good men should be honored, but we eagerly give honor to the rich, famous, or powerful, without concern for their goodness.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

"How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct." Benjamin Disraeli

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

Vodka is made from potatoes, potatoes are vegetables, and vegetables are good for you. You're welcome...

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

I wish I could download money.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

Going through these love quotes thinking about the same person.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

I made eye contact with someone in traffic and then didn't let them merge. I feel like a James Bond villain.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

"Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire." - William Butler Yeats

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

Dear bread, I'm hot, turned on, and want you inside me. Sincerely, the toaster. ;)

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

"We shall have no better conditions in the future if we are satisfied with all those which we have at present." - Thomas Edison

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

No matter how "busy" a person's day may be. If they "really care", they'll always find time for you.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

"A stumbling block to the pessimist is a stepping stone to the optimist." - Eleanor Roosevelt

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

You can only watch so much Law & Order: SVU before you feel like society is doomed beyond redemption

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

I remember that one time, before Twitter, when I went outside and did shit.

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

"Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning." - Maya Angelou

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

i stand up too fast fromthe toilet and some warm pee lands on my phone activiting the touch screen & texts the word 'autumn' to my aunt

[Krista Bried @KristaBried]

My daughter said she needs a bag of Skittles for a class project. Starting to get suspicious.