salma 🎀

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

🫣📲

https://t.co/Wpjo0NfdW5

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

I smiled more today than I did yesterday. That's the kind of progress no one talks about, but it definitely matters. 😄💙

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

I tried to make a smooth, confident turn around a corner at work while making eye contact with my crush. I misjudged the distance, clipped my shoulder on the doorframe, and spun 360 degrees into a recycling bin. I just sat in the paper waste and said, "I've arrived."

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

My smart TV turned on by itself at 3 AM and started playing a YouTube video of a fireplace. I don't even have the YouTube app installed on that TV. I just stared at the digital flames, freezing cold, wondering if the ghost in my apartment was just chilly.

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

a silhouette in my hallway holding what looked like a massive sword at 2 AM . I grabbed a frying pan, yelled a battle cry, and charged into the dark . Flipped the light on to find my roommate holding a giant cardboard baguette he’d bought at 24-hour Costco

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

I tried to do a cool, effortless spin move to catch a falling paper towel roll in the grocery aisle. I missed completely, slipped on a fallen grape, and took down an entire display of artisanal olive oils. I was covered in extra virgin oil and sheer, unadulterated shame.

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

I tried to wave casually at a cute dog across the street today, but my sleeve got caught on a low tree branch. I ended up violently yanking the branch down, snapping it, and hitting myself directly in the forehead with a pinecone. The dog stopped and barked at me like

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

Heard a massive explosion in my kitchen (scary). Ran in to find a smoking crater on my counter and white goo everywhere (crazy). My roommate tried to microwave a whole, unopened can of whipped cream to "make it warmer for the waffles" (funny). Fire hazard, but hilarious.

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

I was at a quiet library today and tried to suppress a massive sneeze. Instead, it came out as a incredibly loud, high-pitched "SQUEAK" that sounded exactly like a dog toy. A guy three rows over instantly whistled and yelled, "Here, boy!" I had to crawl out on my hands and knees

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

I tried to subtly throw away a piece of trash at a park today, missed the bin, and accidentally tossed my car keys directly into the deep garbage chute instead. I then had to spend 15 minutes head-first in a public trash can while a flock of ducks openly judged me.

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

Heard a frantic scratching inside my backpack at the library (scary). Unzipped it slowly, expecting a wild rodent, and a fuzzy brown creature jumped out onto my head (crazy). Turns out my roommate's robotic dog toy had somehow switched on and got tangled in my scarf (funny).

[salma 🎀 @Krithikripal]

My smart TV turned on by itself at 3 AM and started playing a YouTube video of a fireplace. I don't even have the YouTube app installed on that TV. I just stared at the digital flames, freezing cold, wondering if the ghost in my apartment was just chilly.