Kyla

🤷🏻‍♀️

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

finally some campaign messaging that speaks to my demographic

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Well this is unusual.

This is Jared Bernstein, the Chair of the Council of Economic Advisers, the main agency advising Biden on economic policy, from the documentary: Finding the Money.

He seems unable to communicate how the US monetary system works, despite being an advisor on it to the president.

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

your spotify wrapped doesn’t impress me. drop your ⁦@duolingo⁩ year in review and we can talk

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

my fiancé and I got into an argument this morning and when it was over I noticed him staring at my head and this man really says “sometimes to help me get over being mad at you I imagine you bald and it really helps”

EXCUSE ME??

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

if you’re curious about how impactful scandoval truly was, my dad (who actively despises and avoids reality tv) now asks me fairly regularly how the “vanderplumps” are doing

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

sent this picture of my mom to my other mom and this was her response. together almost 20 years, never settle for anything less

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

thanks?? I think??

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

you know how country clubs have extra jackets to give people when they eat there in case they forget one? restaurants should do the same thing but with sweatpants so that we never have to eat in skinny jeans ever again

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

the single best thing that came from moving to Miami is that our rescue dog who spent the first 3 years of her life in a hoarding situation without ever stepping foot outside now spends a good portion of her day everyday basking in the sun

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

one tgiving my sister insisted on doing a roast “for fun”

she said I had limp hair & a vampire would be jealous of my skin so I said “the singing lessons you took as a kid didn’t do much” (fyi she majors in marketing). she went silent then told me i had “ruined her thanksgiving”

[IG: closedapp @ih8rts]

nobody:

my eyes in pictures

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

tonight as I was eating dinner with a group of people outside a homeless woman came up to the table, looked (only) me dead in the eye, and whispered, “you’re a murderess.”

i don’t think i’ve ever killed anyone or anything but she said it so convincingly that now im not sure??

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

@ohheyitsshrey jealous

[ramona @gothforbid]

this whole “cut your friends off if they refuse to leave an abusive relationship” shit is so wild because you know the ultimate goal of the abuser is isolation and when you keep giving your friends these ultimatums, you align more with the abuser to them than you think

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

2022 qualifications for being a true new yorker include stomping on at least 3 lanternflies per every 10 minutes spent outside

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

i admire those enjoying their slut era, personally i am in my sloth era

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

3 weeks from tomorrow i fly to miami with my very anxious chihuahua (it will be her first time on a plane) and my brain has decided with absolute certainty that coming across this tweet on my timeline is not a coincidence but rather a premonition

[Mike Solana @micsolana]

my bf is on a plane to miami right now and a bulldog in the row next to him just had diarrhea. everyone freaked out, the dog owner began sobbing, and the dog escaped. now, covered in poo, it is running around the plane. people are lifting up their legs and screaming.

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

today i woke up to my partner saying good morning to our dog—the exact words I caught were “good morning my beautiful little angelic beanbag.” when he saw i was awake he stopped and said “hey!” to me before immediately turning back to our dog to give her more compliments

[Kyla @KylaTaub]

my fiancé has so many amazing qualities, but above all i am in awe of his patience. he can walk by a dish that’s been soaking for days and days and days and just let it be, giving it the time it must need. incredible

[Ghostface @GhostfaceTalks_]

i refuse to be controlled by a calendar. happy halloween everyone