shemp

I am queens boulevard

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

Impossible to get rug pulled because she keeps that thing shaved

[dasha @dash_eats]

It’s time $dasha

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

Mike Torico is going to drop “Pay Day Zay Flowers” after a big touchdown and Collinsworth will flood the booth with ejaculate.

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@MANLETISM You called?

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@BillSimmons

[Tallulah 如兰 @tallulanon]

Found a timeless Anna truke from 2023

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@nightcorelatinx Justice for Meg

[Gary @plzbepatient]

I stopped eating out partially because of price but mostly because the quality sucks for the price.

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@her_eunuch You’re him bro

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@pelagiusreborn I fear seeing this will have devastating repercussions on my future

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@givemebudlight Oh but when she finds me whacking off to the memory of my exs tits (much larger and more impressive than hers) and the ass of a waitress from 3 years ago, suddenly I’m the bad guy. Yeah okay buddy whatever 🙄

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@ChuckFBass Taking 5 RBs in the first 7 rounds and waiting for the unbalanced trade offers to roll in around week 5

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@dreeezabz Give yer balls a tug

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@HeidiPriebe1 An over developed belief in rights to private property and self defence means this wouldn’t last more than 6 months before someone is obliterated in the Smokey Mountains with zero consequences.

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

Kapo doesn’t sympathize with residents of Białystok after being put in charge of ordering Zyklon B in 1943

[ESPN @espn]

Tarik Skubal doesn't sympathize with Dodgers critics after being traded to the back-to-back champions 👀

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@ImNotOwned Sean and Amanda are chaste nuns compared to legendary stickman CR. Throwing down and acknowledgments and bodices

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

I dated a wasian girl in high school but the term did not yet exist so I had to call her a “rice cracker” and then she cried and also hit me.

[Rodger @TheRodged]

The term "wasian" did not exist two years ago. Where did it come from?

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

Anyone working with people 55+ years old knows that they are deeply in love with generative AI. For them, it’s the realization of an atomic age promise of technology delivering anything they could dream of and they use it on end to indulge in nostalgic fantasies.

[JT @jiratickets]

zoomers watching their boomer coworker use his brain to formulate an original thought from scratch during a claude outage

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@her_eunuch Go eat your pringles buddy he’ll bounce back

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

@s4vva An old coach told me he doesn’t listen to any parent who says their kid is the next great one until they’ve been introduced to girls and drugs.

[shemp @LA_DraftDodgers]

Bill Simmons driving this cracker to da clubbbb rn

[NBA @NBA]

Join us in wishing Kon Knueppel a HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!