Lads Jokes

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

What’s blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

My wife’s leaving me because she thinks I’m obsessed with astronomy.

What planet is she on?

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

Another Day, Another Tweet, Follow? Laugh? Join The Action! #Follow #Jokes #lads #funny #Banter #boys #jokesonyou

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What is the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?

Roverdose.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

What do you call a bigoted fashion designer?

Clothes-minded.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."

"Good idea", I replied, "We can cover more ground that way."

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

What is made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

There’s a new dating app that caters to arsonists.

Every week you get new matches!

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

What did the Space Alien call the human who was run over by a bus?

A flat earther.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

My girlfriend is leaving me because she can't stand the herbs I have been using in the kitchen.

Bae leaves.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

Another Day, Another Tweet, Follow? Laugh? Join The Action! #Follow #Jokes #lads #funny #Banter #boys #jokesonyou

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RT @pubity: Gordon Ramsay's 'Kitchen Nightmares’ Is Returning To Television Nearly A Decade After Being Cancelled 😯🆒

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

What do you call a beehive without an exit?

Unbelievable.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist.

But then I found out she was a gold digger and my life is in ruins.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

How much room does fungi need to grow?

As mushroom as it takes.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

I like to swap the M and N keys on people's keyboards in the office.

Some would say that I'm a monster, but I would say I'm a nomster.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

Another Day, Another Tweet, Follow? Laugh? Join The Action! #Follow #Jokes #lads #funny #Banter #boys #jokesonyou

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I visited my doctor today, he told me that I’m going deaf.

That was difficult to hear.

[Lads Jokes @LadsJokes]

Me after 4 hours of shopping with the wife: https://t.co/UGJEDEMp95