Landon Schaffner

Till He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I stand.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

@alexa_schaffner That's a smart draft pick. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I'm actually quite adept at kickball.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

I want Baylor to lose just so I don't have to wear sunglasses to watch any more games. #marchmadness

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

@tstenn10 Absolutely.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

Waffle fries, aka, ketchup shovels.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

Preschool teacher: Does everybody know how to crack an egg?
Preschoolers: YEEEEAAAAAA!!!!!
ME:

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Which Character Are You In The Story Of David And Goliath? Take The Quiz! https://t.co/XY9QDKH02a

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

Modern technology is truly amazing. I mean, 15 years ago who could've imagined such a wondrous thing as a self-inflating whoopee cushion?

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

Turn on the IU/Purdue game on ESPN2 and I was thoroughly shocked and disappointed when I did not hear the voice of @dandakich on the call.

[Tom Gerberich @Tom_Gerberich]

Somebody get me some alternative facts on this Phil character. I dont want 6 more weeks of winter #NotMyGroundhog

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

"Serena Williams is my spirit animal." -@alexa_schaffner

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

@Studmuffin117 @mschaffner14 I've never seen anything so true as the one about Christian movies.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

"You look like a deformed muffin." -one of my 7th grade players describing a teammate with a giant knot on his forehead.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

8th grader: Do you wanna see my big toenail?
Me looking puzzled: Where is it?
8th grader: ...in this water bottle.
#Kalahari17

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

*6th grader excitedly picks up a packet of dishwasher detergent*
"What's this? Can we eat this?!" #things6thgraderssay at #Kalahari17

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

"Beau fell asleep with the remote so we had to watch Fox News all night." #things6thgraderssay at #Kalahari17.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

Just think of all the guys who, 25 years from now, will be lost for words as they try to explain to their kids why a man bun was cool.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

You know how you see old pictures of your parents and you laugh at their fashion choices as they try to explain to you why they were cool?

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

"Don't ever buy me jewelry. We can go to a game or eat food with that money." -@alexa_schaffner

My wife isn't half bad.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

Imagining the Chris Berman catchphrases during this is the greatest thing ever. https://t.co/ObHyrSommk

[Brian Grubb @briancgrubb]

Set the Planet Earth iguana chase to the NFL Primetime music. Feel great about it.

[Landon Schaffner @LandonSchaffner]

The best part about this video was being in the living room and hearing @alexa_schaffner cheering the lizard on from the bathroom. https://t.co/PNlUF1A2qO