Phil Farda

[ Entrepreneur and Comedian ]
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[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

"Ooh baby I'd like a straw" - ODB dining out

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

Security: "Sir, you can't be in here!"

Me: *holds up Mango White Claw*

Security: "Carry on."

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

Me: Gets the vaccine.

Me: *doesn't become immortal*

Guy from high school: GUESS THE VACCINE DOESN'T WORK!!!!1

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

On Black Friday I bought @rileyreidx3's panties half off.

I was so disappointed when they showed up completely off.

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

I ordered a fitness tracker from Wish. It was just a watch band with a mirror on it.

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

They should call it Major Justice League Baseball because every game lasts 4.5 hours and feels like it's happening in slow motion.

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

"I'd really like to kiss you, NO CUOMO!" - me hitting on a man at a wedding

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

I don't know what man needs to hear this, but you're not in love with that woman she's just really attractive.

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

The only thing that's going to stop this is a good virus with a gun.

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

I think it's been long enough. Someone should explain to Trump that a quarantine isn't a fruit.

[The Uticast @Uticast]

BRAND NEW: GFOP @LaughFarda returns for a record Sixth Time to discuss the 2019 Utica Comedy Cup!! Plus, @UticaPlayers, Wedding Nonsense and history lessons!! #MadeInUtica

https://t.co/cQ9QyRp3ev

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

@pullyourluck Not since February last year, but Matt just launched a new show called The Weekenders on Fridays at https://t.co/RYvuuzARzy

[Nicole @Nic0328]

@macbuckpro @Buckshot114 @MadeInUtica @SaranacBrewery @LaughFarda @CityofUtica Good point! Here is the flyer!

[Nicole @Nic0328]

Take Two.
Hey Everyone!!!! Including @nottjmiller... Don't forget to buy your tickets early for the @MadeInUtica @LaughFarda (CNY Comedy) event being held @SaranacBrewery! Same event, New Venue!!! https://t.co/xzCBIO9SFR
#comedyCNY

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

Do you think when skunks fart it smells good?

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

Life Hack: Tell your boss early on that you have poor cell service at home so when they try to call you into work you can just hang up.

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

Chicks get pregnant and act like it's some special miracle. It's not a miracle, Samantha. It's a glob of cum.

[Phil Farda @LaughFarda]

Back at it with the "Mac" Masur reunion show! @ Bellionaire Studios https://t.co/rR4zzUWRPk