LAVATORR

PART-TIME DREAMER, FULL-TIME LAVA MONSTER.

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@JeffBezos @playnewworld I keep hearing you theoretically have a personality, but I honestly have never heard you speak in anything but motivational business cliches.

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@zzultralord @Kotaku Yeah I know, Toby Fox wants me to PAY for the Deltarune soundtrack? Has his avarice no bounds?

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@CoolCatlovesyou @NICKIMINAJ Didn't she just defend white supremacists or something?

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@Mr_DahVee @ossipeeguy @julie_kelly2 What is it with conspiracy theorists and awkward, tortured attempts at wordplay? Is that just a thing where once you become an anti-vaxxer you have to start talking like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man?

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@lelaine_j @ossipeeguy @julie_kelly2 So if you're such a pussy you think a needle is as bad as the Holocaust, what's getting punched in the face like? A neutron star exploding?

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@ossipeeguy @julie_kelly2 They're total badasses that can't get a shot or put on a mask without having a complete nervous breakdown and collapsing in the grocery store aisle like a toddler.

Yeah, really owning me there, buddy.

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@julie_kelly2 One of my favorite Dumb White Republican cliches is yelling THIS IS HOW THEY TAKE OVER in response to any form of mild inconvenience or personal responsibility.

"God, I have to TIP MY WAITER?? THIS IS HOW THEY TAKE OVER"

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@william__knight I hope Larry Nassar isn't reading this.

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@mike62676 @chrislhayes Probably because moving a statue is easier than ending the single most difficult problem in human history.

Yeah, let's just leave that enormous Hitler statue in town square up until AFTER we've ended world hunger.

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@chrislhayes I'm winning in Cities: Skylines right now

UPDATE: ok nevermind not anymore

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@FifthAngle1 @EWErickson The Republican plan is to whine about doing their laundry once a year because George Washington's roommates never told him there's other people living in this house

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@EWErickson BIG GOVERNMENT BIDEN TOLD ME TO WEAR CONDOMS AND NOT FUCK HOGS--WELL GUESS WHAT PATRIOTS? I'M ALL OUTTA CONDOMS

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@EWErickson Why are Republicans making being gross as fuck part of their political platform? Why do I feel like your next Big Liberty Crusade going to be against brushing your teeth or showering?

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@EWErickson How has it been over a year and you guys are so confused by how viruses work you're literally asking judges to help you stuff them in your gross mouths.

There is no way Republicans wash their hands after they shit. Ever.

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@PissedOffLawyer Part of me wishes I'd accidentally sent you this image without realizing it, but still captioned it with an angry Patrick Henry speech full of righteous indignation, calling for all Americans to come together and never again tolerate such senseless, inhuman cruelty.

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@PissedOffLawyer By the way, while thumbing through my files to find that image of the AIDS mask, my phone started acting weird and almost sent this image instead:

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@S_M__K___ @PissedOffLawyer Yes, let's not forget all the reasonable Republicans that were trying to torch the country down for a game show host less than a year ago.

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@PissedOffLawyer These people are sheer amorality.

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@BarrieHallz @journalsentinel Uhhhh pretty sure the company that makes the dewormer also charges people money for their product.

This level of stupidity is why I rarely go on Twitter. Jesus.

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@DavidPina19 @william__knight You can't prove or disprove it because this claim is vague by design.

"Ever see something from a movie happen in real life?" hinges a LOT on which movie. Was it from "Marriage Story" or "Rise of Skywalker"?