Lea Ciastko

cancer patient. standup comic. adopted from China. Polish family. Cat Mom.

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

Medical Staff giving me a neuro-check*
Them: “What’s your name?”
Me: “Lea Ciastko.”
Them: “What month & year is it?”
Me: “October 2018.”
Them: “Who’s president?
Me: *thinking* “How dare you ask a cancer patient that.”
#whenlifegivesyoucancermakecomedy #itsmycancer
#comedy

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

Jigsaw, from the Saw franchise, had an inoperable brain tumor that prompted him to “teach” others to live, gratefully. Now, aren’t we all glad I chose comedy, instead?

#whenlifegivesyoucancermakecomedy #itsmycancer
#cancerpatient #cancersurvivor #laughteristhebestmedicine

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

Any read, share, or donation is greatly appreciated; thank you for your time!! ❤️❤️❤️
https://t.co/nzzOdZDMMU

#cancerpatient #cancersurvivor
#standuptocancer #gratefulformylife #blessed #GoFundMe

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

I refuse to be limited by my cancer, by my side effects, or by my talent & abilities 😊😂

#cancerpatient #cancersurvivor #laughteristhebestmedicine
#itsMyCancerAndillLaughifiWantTo

#standuptocancer #gratefulformylife #blessed

#comedy #standup #comedian #standupcomedy

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

Me: I wanna get a Publishers Clearing House sized check and make it out to you for being the best cat who’s ever cat 😍❤️

Sagwa: *throws up on the floor*

Me: My baby!!

#catmom #ilovemycat #sagwathechinesesiamesecat
#catsoftwitter #comedy #standup #comedian #standupcomedy

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

If life has taught me anything, it’s that any relationship is much harder when one person has an iPhone and the other has an Android

#comedy #standup #comedian #standupcomedy

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

Pre-cancer me was timid, Aaron Burr & post-cancer me is outspoken, Alexander Hamilton (but with better impulse control)

#Hamilton #musicaltheatre #musicaltheatrenerd #WaitForIt
#comedy #standup #comedian #standupcomedy #cancerpatient #ihavecancer #laughteristhebestmedicine

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

“You’re a decent cat mom, but sometimes your foot touches me while you’re sleeping. I thought I made things clear. This is MY side of the bed and that is YOURS. Please respect my boundaries. I don’t want to have this discussion with you, again. Close my door on your way out.”

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

I just threw up cus of my chemo side effects. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m preeetty sure that means laws don’t apply to me, anymore.

#cancerpatient #laughteristhebestmedicine
#standuptocancer #itsMyCancerAndillLaughifiWantTo
#comedy #standup #comedian #standupcomedy

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

catniption: (noun) When my cat darts from room to room for no apparent reason.

#comedy #standup #comedian #standupcomedy #catmom #sagwathechinesesiamesecat
#catsoftwitter #ilovemycat

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

This is very exciting!!

#palindrome #palindromeweek #imightbeanerd #iamanerd

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

Love me some grammar! Anyone else?

#grammar #grammarnerd

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

I’m Floral Mercury and you’re listening to NPR.

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

I need this shirt 😻😻😻

#catmom #ilovemycat #sagwathechinesesiamesecat #obsessed #CatsOfTwitter #InternationalCatDay2018 #priorities #whatsimportant #beautifulbabyangelcat

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

I’m gonna lie & say I commissioned a portrait of Sagwa by the fabulous .@allieshapiro in honor of #InternationalCatDay2018, but I got the portrait yesterday & didn’t find out about #InternationalCatDay2018 until, now. Guess I’m just a regular obsessive #catmom!!

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

.@allieshapiro created this beautiful portrait of my Sagwa 😻😻😻 Check out more of Allie’s work on instagram: @allieshapiro

#catmom #ilovemycat #sagwathechinesesiamesecat
#obsessed #portrait #art #incredibleartist #artwork
#commissionallieshapiro

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

Reached a compromise w/ my cat: I promised to love her, care for her, & die for her. She’s promised to only scratch or bite me when I really deserve it or whenever she feels like it.

#catmom #ilovemycat #sagwathechinesesiamesecat
#comedy #standup #comedian #standupcomedy

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

My parody of "Part Of Your World" about the lack of Asian representation in Hollywood: https://t.co/8b3kao3fah

#Disney #songparody #thelittlemermaid #asianpride #asianamericanpride #RepresentationMatters #dontwhitewash #ShameOnYou #Hollywood #comedy #standupcomedy #funny

[Lea Ciastko @LeaCiastko]

@aliwong https://t.co/8b3kao3fah

#Disney #songparody #partofyourworld #asianpride #asianamericanpride #RepresentationMatters #dontwhitewash #Hollywood #ShameOnYou #comedy #standupcomedy #funny #OscarsSoWhite #TheLittleMermaid