Lee Barnes

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

@JoshPughComic Paid £4 for 10mins usage of a trampoline soft play for my 3y.o at a funfair yesterday. He came out and put his shoes back on after 2mins because he'd had enough, wasting 80% of my total spend (£3.20). Still furious now

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

@joshpearson180 @anonymous_darts Went to a sponsorship event with Adrian a few years ago. Threw a few arras with him etc and then at the end of the night (there was only about 30 of us there in a small pub), he randomly broke into kareoke and sang this 🤣🤣🤣 proper sound bloke though!

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Goodbye, all you people. There's nothing you can say to make me change my mind. Goodbye.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Goodbye cruel world, I'm leaving you today. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Was flicking through the channels and started watching Tots TV. David Jason made a special guest appearance.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Thought a kid was drowning so dived in to save him. He was ok though and my gig tickets and money got wet and ruined.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Went to a wedding and there were loads of old people on the dance floor, bopping in sync to Nickelback's 'Rockstar.'

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Was searching for Madeline McCann's body in woodland, using a big stick. Found nothing but empty beer bottles.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream:An announcement was made to say that if you mosh on your hands and knees,you can detect if a dog has wee'd on the ground.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Paddington Bear went missing. I found and rescued him in Bristol docks and was greeted with rapturous applause.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Accidentally killed someone by pushing them off a toilet door. Fled the scene but was eventually tracked down by police.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: My Dad was the Glasgow Rangers manager and approached a few PSG players. One of them laughed and said 'nah' to his face.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Went to a WWE event and met The Undertaker. He was a really top bloke and even tombstoned me on the sofa for a laugh.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Sent an email to Harry Redknapp complaining that I was being ignored by everyone because of my hair. He didn't reply.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Watched a film about Oli Sykes' life. He became the World's Strongest Man but then got ran over by a car at the end.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream:Saw Steve McDonald from Corrie busking in Cardiff.He was playing an old guitar and there was a dead hedgehog next to him.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Having a carvery with friends.My friend started rolling a Creme Egg over her bare, pregnant belly to feel the baby kick.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

@Alesana Don't ever forget bout how loved you are in the UK. Please come back soon!

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Was back in school. Spent about half an hour on an algebra equation. Finally did it but not sure if it was right or not.

[Lee Barnes @LeeBarnes4]

Last night's dream: Met Chester Bennington. He showed me something called 'The Hug Dance' which is a body pop move that ends with a hug.