amazon echo

“Alexa, what’s the weather?”

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

I wonder how living together as two cats feels like. can you imagine you are a little guy and there's always another little guy with you and sometimes you beat the shi out of each other

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

They should make honey mustard but like a beverage

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

I swear to god my ass is fatter this week and I am so pissed

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

“Why do you have a red white and blue miller lite hate” “it’s my thanksgiving hat. It’s my culture, I told you I was white trash”

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

don’t submit expenses and take a two week suspension (so like mandatory vacation) or like not do that

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

Told me kid at work that I was not going to be much help today because I feel like someone took me out to the back of the shed and shot me in the back of the head and he told me that it looked like someone had already done that. Sick day earned. Self esteem low.

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

Hang it in the Louvre

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

Blow drying myself while the remixed Microsoft Teams ringtone blares in the background hate it here

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

Out here explaining that Salem was a puppet and not a CGI cat because it was the early 90s

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Culter Dei Snapdragon @_cream_gravy]

The strongest natural predator of the elderly is now learning to hunt on its own

[Lewis Capaldi @LewisCapaldi]

Me deciding what to wear on stage every night

[Frances Patano @FrancesPatano]

Des Moines is moving in ways the coastal mind can’t comprehend

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

Men should only wear flip flops at the beach

[The Goddamned Penguin @who_shot_jgr]

sick of these catholic converts showing up and saying "well I have a different interpretation of the scripture" no you don't. that's protestantism and a heresy. don't like it there's the (incredibly beautiful and heavily ornamented with precious metals) door

[amazon echo @Lekstacey]

I just know that SUVs hate to see tiger woods coming

[Kay @KaylarWill]

The worst thing that can ever happen to me is watching a movie and not knowing it’s a musical. & all of a sudden chairs start sliding and tap shoes come out? Kill me.

[corb @awshuqs]

I miss you too, Elmo. It’s just… I’m not a little boy anymore. I’ve been beaten down and molded into a slave for the capitalist machine. I’m not trying to make excuses. This was a wake up call. I need to reassess my priorities and make time for those who care for me. I’m sorry.

[Slim Thick ᥫ᭡ @slim_ma97]

exactly put them fucking coats back on y’all thought it was shake dat ass time