MzeeMzima

[Rono @Frankchise_]

Sijui nilikuwa nafanya nini kwa dm ya mtu who casually attends formula 1 grand prix while I stream it from an illegal website

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

Instead of adding pink ribbons to their products this month maybe companies should just remove the cancer causing ingredients.

[. @akams_]

There is a lot of misconception going around about the planned Dangote refinery in Lamu and contrasts are being made to the the former Changamwe refinery. With hydroskimming like at Changamwe, for every barrel of oil, 15% becomes Petrol, 25% DIesel, 10% JetA, HFO 35%, LPG 5% /1

[John-Allan Namu @johnallannamu]

@tonysuba Juu inakaa bakuli? 😄

[Sir KELVIN🎩 @Kevoh_254]

Gaidi after any slight arguments:

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Bro was like: If I’m getting a red card, I’m gonna make it worth it.

https://t.co/cM6ccOncwu

[Edgar Kariuki @Edu_Kariuki_]

@Nyandia_G @CarrefourKe Dear Lord!
Now where will you go to feel better than other Kenyans? Karen General Stores it is!

[Pabló Escobar @ed_kemboi]

Mix unga nusu gorogoro na General Meakins. Wekea wao at the their favourite spot! Comeback 30 minutes later, you’ll be picking them like Mushrooms

[Monin'go @TRUTTOH]

@xysist @grok I was actually making a reference to the engineers who constructed the bridge, I didn't know you were a graduate of Kibabii. My apologies

[UEFA Champions League @ChampionsLeague]

If football is art, this is a masterpiece 🖼️

#UCL

[Kerry 🇰🇪 @kerubo_hillary]

Mbona wewe kama driver usipeane discount pia?
430 pay 400
480 pay 450
Don't be a boring driver😊

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Husband & Wife Goals

Is this true 🤪
https://t.co/0pKBmQVqJe

[Miss Teddy 🌸❤️ @Miss_Teddy0]

Saii mistake kidogo unasamehewa 15th February.
Ni mbaya😅

[Mwango Capital @MwangoCapital]

Employees: How much bonus can we expect this year?

The CEO:

[I Love Good KE Music @will_Olwande]

On todays jam kuskia Loski Skillo the Rong Don mutakam?

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Someone rickrolled me while screen-sharing in a Teams call.

The next day, I uninstalled Spotify from their computer and told them it was violating our "software licensing audit."

They asked why only their computer.

I said the audit was random and they happened to be selected.

They asked to see the audit documentation.

I sent them a 47-page PDF I found online about ITIL compliance frameworks.

They never read it.

Three other people saw this happen and immediately uninstalled Spotify themselves.

Now everyone thinks we're doing software audits and they're all terrified they're next.

Nobody knows I just didn't want to get rickrolled again.

This is what absolute power looks like.

[️ ️ ️ ️•°• @StrenjaDenja]

I tried telling my girl this and she wasn't believing me

[MOgada @m_ogada]

You people who claim that SHA isn't working are only saying so because you mistook it for a medical cover. For your information, SHA is actually a looting mechanism, and it's working perfectly.

[Kitui’s Daughter 🇰🇪 @goaldigger_ke]

Juu Amapiano hukua na Kikamba?