Leslie The Imp

I love this picture. It makes me look infinitely cooler than I really am. Hooray Interwebs! (She/Her)

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@GhoulGuard @nytimes

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@TheBloggess Heh heh heh - you said..."toot"
#ImAnEightYearold

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@sarahschauer All the "what's the big deal, this is common practice" -> just b/c it's common doesn't make it correct. Or humane. 🙄

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

"Gotta kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight" (Bruce Cockburn)

Also,
"There's not a word yet, For old friends who've just met" (Gonzo)

[Damien Scott @MadScientistFF]

What is the greatest ONE LINE in a song ever, Not a verse or chorus. Just One Line?

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@OneFreshPillow Eff: Santos, bc it'd be over soon & he'd prob just lie about it anyway.
Marry: McC bc he obvs gets desperate quickly & can be easily manipulated to make all the concessions for little to no return.
Launch*: BabyGaetz, because, DUH.
And now I need bleach my brai . You evil demon.

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@Cobratate @GretaThunberg THAT'S your #compensatingdickenergy reply? AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<inhales>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! #sadlittleman

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

punks #colbertdle

[The Late Show @colbertlateshow]

In solidarity with New York Times Union workers, tonight’s show contains zero excerpts from the New York Times. Instead, we got our news from the Big Apple’s second biggest source: a pantsless man shrieking on the subway.

[Proud Distributor of Snark&Black Girl Magic #Khive @thedivuh]

@JoyAnnReid Joy a story told in expressions:
Chile Bye.
Girl What?
IKYFL.
Make this make sense.
Chiillle.
Jesus be a fence.
(Holds paper to face) ima pray on this.

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

All my driving life, I drive extra to find parking spots as close as possible to the front of the store, preferably in/near a lighted area. Constantly told it's I'm just lazy and don't want to walk. Took me years to recognize I wasn't lazy, I was instinctively trying to be safe.

[Libby Whittemore💙🪷🇺🇦 @libbage55]

🧵1. A post on FB…

“I am 14 and I’m struggling in algebra class. When I ask for help, the male teacher says, ‘I’m not surprised girls aren’t that good at algebra’.

I am 18 and go to my first fraternity party with girlfriends…

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@Venmo @Lekili42 #VenmoMe

[Duke Alexander Moore, CTC, EA @dukelovestaxes]

🚨 Student loan forgiveness: Don’t miss these four upcoming dates

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

Outside: 96°F (35.5°C).

Me (melting): I know! Imma take a nice cool shower. So refreshing. Ahhh...

My Body: Don't you DARE get into that tepid shower! Showers must be nothing less than steaming ho-- COMMENCE PAINFUL SHIVERING!!!!

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

Demand they leave immediately...

...and take me directly to the shop where they purchased that bomb-ass lip color!

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@HistoryMuppet Happy, happy birthday! This account has brought me so many much-needed smiles and I can't thank you enough for it! Have the best year ever!! ❤️🎁🎊🎉🎂

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

Gawds, I hope she responded with just:

*your career

😈

[𝔞𝔰𝔭𝔥����𝔡𝔢𝔩 𝔪𝔬𝔬𝔫 🕯️🤎 @asphodelmoon]

‘Modern dating is impossible for men like me’

GOOD.

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

@Hanksy19 @GransonMary @BetoMedia @BetoORourke How DARE you? Colostomy bags are useful and serve an actual purpose. And they're able to contain their sh*t.

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

Recommend giving @HistoryMuppet a follow. The Muppet content is as pure and uplifting as the burns. 😍 #nobodylikestedcruz

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

Got through the first 6 then had to stop to cool my rage. Outta words. #ImpeachClarenceThomas #ImpeachKavanaugh #ExpandTheSupremeCourtNow

[Jason P. Steed @profsteed]

Today marks the end of what is surely one of the worst terms in #SCOTUS history. Guns and prayer and abortion got most of the attention. But that's not all the Court did. Here are just some of the Court's bad decisions:
1/25

[Leslie The Imp @LeslieTheImp]

Hey @TMobile can I give a very public THANK YOU for the OUTSTANDING (yes, I'm yelling) cust svc. I recently rec'd from Marcus & Brian? They were both amazing & helpful, & also empathetic & supportive at a time when I *really* needed it. Truly above & beyond svc. Give them awards!