Levi Rutherford

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

Be humble in your victories, so that you may receive grace in your failures.

[The Dad @thedad]

Me: The weather report said if we're cold, then animals are cold too. I had to bring him inside.
Wife: [on the phone with animal control] Yes, I said a LIVE raccoon.

[relatable @byreIatable]

*taking exam*

Me: Hey Brain! Remember studying this stuff??
Brain: Yeah we totally studied that!
Me: Awesome! So what's the answer?
Brain:

[Sean Lowe @SeanLowe09]

My dog Ellie is 11 years old. She’s been chasing squirrels for 11 years now. To date, she’s caught zero squirrels. But every day, she casts doubt aside and chases a new squirrel in hopes of fulfilling her lifelong dream of being a squirrel hunter. May we all be more like Ellie.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

#notmysuperbowl

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

In grad school people like to ask me what I want to do with my life, like really guys idk at this point I'm just here for the laughs.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

High school teacher: "Your college professors won't be as lenient as I am."

College prof: "Hey yeah sorry I'm late I didn't want to come."

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

@chrissiebert22 @_WizardofBoz https://t.co/fDSgxuehh6

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

If I was famous I would just go around knocking on people's doors like hello yes it's me.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

With the @STLouisRams gone, I'm testing the free agency for a new NFL team. So, @Chiefs , @steelers , @Broncos , what offers do you have me?

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

Choose a major you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring,

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

If Sam Smith was featured in as many songs as Pit Bull is the world would be a much better place.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

Netflix needs a "grunt to start new episode" feature. Because getting the remote from my desk is a battle I'm just not willing to fight yet.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

Have you guys ever thought about the fact that someone who studies atoms is really just a bunch of atoms trying to understand themselves.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

The life of the party. @tayward12

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

Today I got an email from Old Navy that had the subject line "Cargo shorts are cool again." I no longer subscribe to Old Navy emails.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

The one downfall of this beautiful weather is that the DPS ticket writers are out in full force.

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

Residents are going home, I hate to see them leave but I... No just kidding I love to see them leave. Bye residents see you next semester

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

I can seriously never tell how to go in for a casual handshake & we just awkwardly touch fingers & squeeze like what am I doing with my life

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

Stormee while at the arcade: "Come on man, hurry up and give me some more money while I'm hot"

[Levi Rutherford @Levi_Rutherford]

This morning, I was the "I just ordered my Starbucks at the time I'm usually leaving for class" kind of late.