Lewey

29.

[Mohamed Salah @MoSalah]

I have witnessed this club go from doubters to believers, and from believers to champions. It took hard work and I always did everything I could to help the club get there. Nothing makes me prouder than that.

Us crumbling to yet another defeat this season was very painful and not what our fans deserve. I want to see Liverpool go back to being the heavy metal attacking team that opponents fear and back to being a team that wins trophies. That is the football I know how to play and that is the identity that needs to be recovered and kept for good. It cannot be negotiable and everyone that joins this club should adapt to it.

Winning some games here and there is not what Liverpool should be about. All teams win games.

Liverpool will always be a club that means a great deal to me and to my family. I want to see it succeed for long after I have moved on.

As I’ve always said, qualifying to next season’s Champions League is the bare minimum and I will do everything I can to make that happen.

[LFC Mumble @lfcmumble]

Here’s a mad stat…

This century there’s only one club in the 92 football league clubs that hasn’t been able to celebrate anything, no trophy, no promotion, no nothing…

And that club is…..

Everton

[Martin Lewis @MartinSLewis]

The govt's Student Loan Plan 2 repayment freeze in April 2027 must be reversed. It isn't moral.

I'm concerned that my debate with Kemi Badenoch this morning distracts from the most immediate problem. In April 2027 Rachel Reeves will freeze the Plan 2 student loan threshold until 2030 which by then will increase graduate repayments by £300/yr more.

This is effectively a unilateral negative breach of the student loan contract. Students were told the threshold would rise with average earnings. No commercial lender would be allowed to do this. The govt shouldn't do it either.

Changing the terms of future students loans is a political decision - people may not like it but it is transparent. Negatively changing the terms of contracts already signed, and long in place, is a breach of natural justice.

[ع @pyari_eyesha]

Rejected the cookies from a website cause it's Ramadan

[The Middle East @A_M_R_M1]

🚨 BREAKING: China calls for Israel to be globally isolated over its alleged actions in Gaza, labeling them as genocide.

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Anonymous confession:

My friend was freaking out because she thought she might be pregnant, but she was too embarrassed to go buy pregnancy tests herself.
So today I went and bought them for her, four tests. All four came back positive.
I was quietly asking myself how she managed to screw up this badly.
Then she sat there crying on my shoulder and asked,
“How am I supposed to provide for four kids at once?”
At that point, all my questions disappeared, and honestly, I’m not surprised she got pregnant.

[S @SibiLFC]

Better be on sight for Greenwood

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[sexiest in the world @HossMatch]

Noah seen him kill a bunch of innocent children last season and was confused why he was the villain

[Satern (spilled) @youshouldbe13_]

which one

[ä̤ @candidatechains]

being a retired british person must go crazy. wake up . go to spoons for 7 hours . go home . check bank account yuppp government gave me another million pounds . vote for reform

[Is this a 3D model? @IsThisA3DModel]

Hi @Disney @MarvelStudios I didn't know you were doing an AI Stitch and Groot movie.

It looks awful. Knowing that our beloved mascots are in an open spacecraft about to instantly die from lack of oxygen in a space vaccum makes me uncomfortable as a consumer. Please reconsider.

[Reid Southen @Rahll]

Hey @Pixar and @Dreamworks, how do you feel about Google using your properties to generate slop on subscription? Do you enjoy having your properties devalued and debased?

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Last week I hosted family for Thanksgiving.

My 12-year-old nephew asked for the WiFi password.

He wanted to play Roblox on his iPad.

I looked at the device.

Unmanaged. No antivirus. No encryption.

I’m an IT Professional. I don't run an open network.

So I didn’t give him the password.

Instead, I spent 45 minutes provisioning a Guest VLAN.

I set up a captive portal.

I throttled the bandwidth down to 56kbps.

Then I blocked all traffic on ports 80 and 443.

He came back crying. He said it wouldn't load.

My sister screamed at me to "just let him play."

I told her that Zero Trust architecture doesn't care about bloodlines.

We didn't have a "fun" Thanksgiving.

But we had a secure perimeter.

You’re welcome for the compliance.

[ᴘᴀɴo @panomerda]

Hello @Nickelodeon . Why is this spongebob video so strange? Why theres two squidwards, inconsistent faces and the quality overall is so unpolished? My image of the SpongeBob franchise is damaged, and i don't think i will purchase any SpongeBob products ever again because of it.

[🖤 viv 🖤 @ffdyke]

hey @Disney i didnt realize you were making a video game of zootopia. this looks incredibly subpar for the brand, and is the deciding factor in my decision to not go to the theater for Zootopia 2

[bea 🇧🇷 @SlLENTPRINCESS]

hey @Nintendo @NintendoAmerica why is this zelda video so strange?

why's his sword wielding inconsistent and the quality overall is so unpolished?

this video has ruined the image of the brand for me and i dont think i will purchase any Nintendo products ever again because of it

[Manxpie @manxpie86]

Why have they cropped it?

[Lewey @Leweyy]

@currys Harry potter