Lauren Hober

Zenon, girl of the 21st century.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Does Outback Steakhouse in Sparks exist because Wild Island or does Wild Island exist because Outback Steakhouse in Sparks? No one answer.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

I honestly think a new season of Bridgerton could save me.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Mr. Darcy was autistic. I will not explain further.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

All I got for Valentine’s Day was my period.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

I wish anyone hit me up the way James Blake does to his “inner circle” subscribers.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Once I get hot, it’s over fo you hoes.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

I say this with every part of my body… I absolutely fucking hate elf on a shelf.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Overheard in LA (but addressed to me) “Lauren, are you on LinkedIn at the bar again?”

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

The political calls? Fine, hit ignore. The political texts? Fine, just delete. The political emails, Kamala?? TOO MUCH.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Listen, I don’t want a normal “comfortable shoe” review. I want to know… what shoe can I wear for 18 hours straight???

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

I’m being haunted by AI

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

There’s not enough crossover with emo and rave culture tbh

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Help! I’m just speaking French in a Spanish speaking country. Again.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Does anyone want to come over later and just like… idk riff?

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

So like, what’s Gray’s Anatomy all about?

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

The grasps in which Facebook marketplace and the Bridgerton family have on me is concerning me greatly.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

My newest bit is seeing local bartenders and saying, “omg aren’t you that mixologist?”

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my travels… someone with a Louis Vuitton travel bag is gonna be kiiinda a bitch.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

@binhcao Omgggg can you make me one???

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

Sydney Sweeney’s voice sounds like she’s never once felt an emotion aside from apathy.

[Lauren Hober @LHober]

I was having a good day so I decided to watch Boy Erased to ruin it.