Growing up my parents were very strict about how to present myself etc socially esp for family dinners and such and i got this strong mask that I can no longer uphold, only half ass now.
Stoic whumpee with mean whumper who refuses to let even a whimper slip but this only entices whumper to inflict more pain doing whatever they can even to just speed up whumpees breathing, so see their face wrinkle, anything to see a smidge of even discomfort.
So for a really long time I've had issues with procrastination which has affected my work and other parts of life. Some of this is due to laziness, but there seems to be other factors which I think could be self esteem based.