: )

I’m just happy to be here

[: ) @lilshers_]

@chickensaladchi the girls are begging for Jill Pickle to be a permanent flavor pleaseeee

[father stretch my bandz @MILKANDH3NNY]

they are fucking at these run clubs
I have evidence

[sabunny @mama_moons]

they are saying being almost 30 is very chic and sexy and in right now

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

scientists are calling me "the one person that is allowed to put q-tips into their ear canal" saying things like "she's just so careful" and "i don't know how she does it"

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

the women's bathroom at a club is the closest we'll ever get to Barbie World

[Mariella ! @pfaffphobic]

I didn’t see a single “it’s gonna be May” meme this year which is personally a massive relief, but culturally a signifier of something much darker.

[l!v @bpddestroyer]

I can tell ur ass went to Jupiter to get more stupider

[COCO @TWOTIMESABITCH]

unfortunately i’m not addicted to the grind i am addicted to the unwind i love chilling and relaxation and overall taking it easy

[Icy @whereicy]

You can just tell when someones never had a job that made them mop

[𝟮𝟭.🛸 @Big_tagg]

nobody warns you about the number of movies people will simply assume you've seen

[cнєєкυ⋆｡🪐˚ ⋆ @Okay_Bye___]

Me: *drinking from a soggy straw to save the planet*

World leaders:

[william/al @fazvodka]

valentine’s day was just a normal day to me. that’s how full of love i am. just a glimpse into my loving mind.

[a broken soul @abrokensouI]

been feeling like shrek with his ears down lately

[Mia♡ @luxemiaa]

i miss when boys made me nervous now i just be irritated

[ned! @nedsore]

the shower is the alternate dimension where I realize I'm low on shampoo but as soon as I step through the curtain I'm transported back to this dimension where all my memories are wiped like in severance and I won’t remember i’m out of shampoo until im back in the shower

[Roddy 🇨🇦 @RodKahx]

I've truly lost any empathy as a Canadian to my US friends.

Sorry, and I didn't vote for him doesn't cut it any more.

We are through with you. You're part of the reason we are angry right now. You are citizens of the US and are accountable.

You don't get off easy any more.

[jody @wnbagirlfriend]

i am both the jester and the queen

[Fallon @filthtofilth]

I am simultaneously the family's black sheep and gold star and thats exactly why im the way i am

[hera @shiningdaisies]

i find ur lack of whimsy quite disturbing

[Luke Sampe @LukeSampe]

I must tell you, daylight starts to increase in 4 days.